Love and a Pop Star
by NEWbiee
Summary: When Nile's(a famous pop singer) drummer quits, him and his team go and scout for a new one. But unexpectedly the perfect drummer turns out to be an old crush/fling. What will he do when old sparks start to arise? How will his current relationship hold up? Not to mention the preparing and embarking on Nile's FIRST world tour along with another album and video release..
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everyone I'm NEWbiee aka the well-known NEWbie, who has for years been commenting here in the Metal Fight Beyblade fandom, mostly in the "M" rated area. Yes I've finally made an account and am actually publishing a story! Can you believe it? XD**

 **I'd tell you how I got to this point, but then this A/N would never end and I would rather you'd get to reading my story. Please feel free to go read my bio page. It took me forever -_-**

 **So here it is...My first published story!**

 **This story contains multiple pairings, some untraditional...but I hope you still give the story a chance.**

 **Main Pairings: NileXChris, NileXKyoya, GingaXRyuga**

 **This is my baby and FINALLY publishing this is like nerve racking as hell because I have no idea how anybody is going to take it or even if anyone will read it, let alone like it. I've been writing for years, I'm just now getting the balls to publish this and hopefully many other stories if this goes well.**

 **This story is rated "M" which in my head/language means "NO FILTER". If you don't like that, or yaoi or boy's love etc...THEN DONT READ! The one thing I WILL NOT tolerate on my stories is nastiness, bashing etc.. I've been a commenter for years I know the game.**

 **Don't try me! Thanks!**

 **Even though this is a "M" rated story and you knew what you were getting into when you clicked on this, let alone coming to this section, I will still give you heads up with warnings at the beginning. :)**

 **Just a heads up:**

 **Double Lines= POV CHANGE**

 **Single Lines= SCENE CHANGE**

 **Music Lyrics= will be _Italicized_ , Bolded and Underlined**

 **If you need anymore head's up let me know in the comments or PM me.**

 **Now its time to end this long ass A/N and get to the story..**

 _ **Disclaimer:**_

 _ **I own none of the characters, just the plot idea!**_

 _ **I do not own the one line from the song mentioned- that all goes to Selena Gomez and her writers**_

 **Hope you enjoy! Love Ya!**

* * *

 **NORMAL POV**

 _"And you heard it straight from the artist himself. Nile has a new song coming out and a huge announcement for his fans. All of this is to come this Friday! Don't miss the announcement from Nile himself here live and the debut of his new song. That's Friday! 6 pm! Tracy I'm so excited, as we all know it's rare for Nile to do tv interviews!"_

 _"Yes I know I'm excited too Morana! I can't wait to meet him and I know the fans can't wait to see their favorite pop star in this exclusive interview. Friday will be a big night."_

Nile sighed and swiveled to look at his manager who was standing behind him in his office at home.

Nile frowned, "Turn it off Kenta..."

Kenta quickly moved to turn off the flat screen tv mounted on the wall in the office.

Dynamis rolled his eyes and moved to sit on the edge of Niles desk, "Oh quit being like that! You should be excited! Doing cartwheels and everything!"

Nile sighed, "Dy you know how I feel about tv interviews."

"You have nothing to worry about. Just because it's live, that doesn't mean I still don't have control over what they get to ask you. You'll be just fine Ny. Think about what the interview is actually for. That should make you smile."

Nile shrugged, "Yea I guess."

* * *

 **NILE'S POV**

Dynamis rolled his eyes again and groaned dramatically, "Oh my God! What's wrong with you today!? Why're you in such a funk? Did you and Chris get into it last night?"

The truth is yes we did but I'm not gonna tell him that so he can chew my ass out again about dating somebody you work with.

I sighed loudly and got up out of my seat, "Kenta what time is rehearsal?"

I could hear Dy growl, "Did he just ignore me? No he couldn't have..."

Kenta glanced nervously over at Dy. I rolled my eyes and batted my hand in that direction as if to say 'Don't worry about him'.

Kenta nodded quickly and moved over to me, handing me my phone, "Rehearsal starts in ten minutes for you, but the band is already rehearsing right now... Well they should be anyways..."

I snorted, "Right. Who knows what's actually going on..."

Just as I was about to grab my keys from Kenta and leave out, my phone vibrated.

 **Chris3:** _You still mad at me?_

My first thought was to ignore him completely, but considering I have dance rehearsal tonight I don't think it'd be a good idea to do that.

We've worked in that post argument environment before and he purposely worked my ass to the bone. Not to mention, we fought the entire time.

Not wanting to repeat history, I swiped my screen to reply.

 _I never said I was mad..._

 **Chris3:** _You didn't have to say it. Your actions tell me everything._

 _No they don't. Idk what you're talking about. Sounds like you're paranoid to me...even though you wouldn't have to be paranoid if you didn't do anything wrong_

I grabbed my keys from Kenta and me and him left out the house.

Yea we left Dy, but I can bet that he'll be at rehearsal anyways. Actually I don't have to bet because I know for sure that he's gonna be there. Just not for me.

Well maybe so he can chew me out about completely ignoring him.

 _Oh well._

Once outside we moved towards my truck, but on my way to the truck I got a reply from Chris. I tried to ignore it, but the distress, worry and stress must've been written all over my face.

Kenta spoke up softy, "Um Nile. I'll drive. I know you have a lot on your mind right now."

I glanced up at him and just nodded and gave him the keys.

He knows I'd be no good on the road right now. Not with the way I'm feeling right now.

I got in the passenger seat, buckled up and then decided to give my phone a glance to see what Chris had said.

 **Chris3:** _whatever! I'm not paranoid. I was just checking in on you. But that's what I get for caring so much about you..._

 _Whatever. You weren't checking on me for my feelings, to make sure I was okay. You were checking in to earn some brownie points towards the possibility of having makeup sex tonight._

 **Chris3:** _Bae it's not even like that and you know it. Damn. Give me a fucking break. And since you brought it up, I think you might need a good fuck session to get rid of this fucked up attitude you have._

 _Oh I bet you would just love to do that right? Well you better prepare those muscles in your hands because that's the only thing you're gonna be fucking tonight. OH! And did it ever occur to you that YOURE the reason I have this "fucked up attitude"! No because you never do anything wrong._

It took Chris less than thirty seconds to call me after sending that text message.

And it took me 0.5 seconds to reject his call once his face popped up on my screen.

By the time we pull into the parking lot at rehearsals, Chris had called me eight times.

Within a ten-minute drive to the studio.

 _I think he'll get the point by now. And I really don't care at this point because I have more important things to worry about right now._

Chris will be just fine. I'll deal with him at dance rehearsals.

* * *

 **NORMAL POV**  
 _(Inside the studio's mock concert room)_

"Ryuga just calm down. For me please?" Ginga pleaded with big eyes. He was standing in Ryuga's line of sight so that he was the only person he could focus on.

Ryuga growled, "No! This is bullshit! I'm not for this today. Fuck! We can't get through one fucking practice without hearing his fucking mouth and I'm sick of this shit!"

"Who the fuck cares what you're sick of!? You don't run shit here! You have no fucking power. So I'd advise you to sit your little ass down and shut the fuck up willingly, before I make you do it by force!" Rago yelled.

Ginga quickly grabbed Ryuga's wrists and placed a firm hand on his chest to keep Ryuga from lunging at Rago.

He had to use a little force to keep him held back, but he didn't mind.

Ginga locked eyes with Ryuga, holding him in that space, "Whoa! Ry honey! _Calm down!_ It's not worth it love. It's not worth it. Don't even entertain it. He's just trying to get you all riled up so you can get in trouble and possibly fired. Love, it's not worth it."

Rago chuckled darkly, "Yea let your little bitch hold-"

Ryuga lunged again.

But this time it was just bad timing, because right at that moment Nile and Kenta walked through the door.

Nile looked at the scene frozen in place in front of him with wide eyes: Ginga holding Ryuga back as Rago and Ryuga lunged for each other.

Nile raised a brow after taking about thirty seconds to get over the initial shock of what he was seeing.

"What the hell is going on now?"

Just as Ginga was about to answer, Dynamis stormed in behind Nile and Chris stormed in from the side door.

Chris locked his wild and angry eyes with Nile and jabbed his pointer finger in his direction, "We need to talk! _**NOW**_!"

Nile sneered and growled, " _Excuse_ you!"

"WHAT THE _**HELL**_ IS GOING ON!?" Dynamis yelled after getting over the initial shock of what he was seeing.

Kenta looked at Dynamis nervously, "We don't know. We literally just got here and Nile had just asked the same question."

Dynamis sighed, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Nile go handle your shit with Chris and I'll deal with this."

Nile spun around to protest but Dynamis held up his hand as if to say stop. He glared at Nile and muttered venomously, "Don't. You're already on my shit list, so I'd suggest you do what I say. We'll talk later."

Nile groaned and stormed across the room and out the doorway that Chris was standing in.

Chris locked eyes with Dynamis and gave a subtle nod. You could clearly see that both were still extremely pissed off, but neither muttered a word to each other.

Chris swiftly moved out the room and slammed the door behind himself, taking out some of his frustration on the door.

The room was completely silent for a total of twenty eight seconds before Dynamis went off.

* * *

 **NILE'S POV**

I stood with my back to the door, brooding and livid.

I didn't even realize Chris had left the room until I found myself harshly spun around, and then roughly pinned to the hallway wall with my wrists pinned above my head.

Chris's face was inches from mines and his eyes said everything.

 _He was livid, angry, hurt and confused._

"When I call you, you answer the phone! Do you know how fucking worried I was! Don't do that shit again! _Fuck!_ I don't give a shit how mad you're at me, you answer that motherfucking phone!"

 _But yet through all of those emotions I could still see his love for me in his eyes._

 _But I can't let that suck me in. No. Not this time._

I sneered venomously, "Chris get the fuck off of me! I'm not for this shit today! If you don't let me go in the next five seconds I swear-"

He snorted, "What? What the hell are you gonna do?!"

I growled.

But unfortunately before I had the chance to speak, his lips were harshly pressed against mines. I soon found myself in a fight for dominance as he ravished my mouth.

For a few seconds I forgot how angry I was with him and my hips bucked while a moan escaped from my throat.

He pressed his body firmly against mines and that's when I broke out of his trance, snatching my mouth from his by harshly whipping my head to the side.

I felt the word slip from my mouth in a harsh whisper, "No..."

We both panted and I refused to look him in the eyes.

 _I can't do this. I just can't._

He groaned loudly and buried his face into my neck, "Bae! Fuck! Please just give me a break, just this once. Just tell me! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Still refusing to look at him or even move, I spoke in a monotone voice, "You know what you did. Now let me go Chris. I can't deal with this right now. I just can't. I'm asking you as calmly as I can to let me go before I completely lose it and I do or say something I'll regret..."

He sighed and pulled back from my neck. I could feel his eyes on me and I still won't give him the satisfaction of looking at him and giving him my full attention.

It was killing him. He hates when I do that.

"But Bae how am I supposed to attempt to right what was wronged if you won't give me the chance to."

I knew if I looked into his eyes I'd fall apart right there and give in. He'd get his way, have his way with me and then it'd be as if nothing ever happened.

So that's why I still refused to look at him.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath in attempt to keep calm, "Chris this is the last time I'm gonna ask you. **Please** just let me go."

"Promise me we'll talk later."

I sighed, I could feel my anxiety and anger rising, "Ok fine whatever..."

He kissed my cheek and the corner of my mouth, "I love you..."

I stared out into space and murmured, "Yea...I know..."

I could feel the look he was giving me and it was breaking me. He let my wrists go and took a step back to give me a little space.

I turned my head forward and quickly looked down at my feet while slightly wincing as I rubbed at my tender wrists.

Chris let out a loud sigh and then gently kissed the top of my head, but because of my anxiety and anger being so high right now I actually jumped and winced when he moved to touch me.

After he kissed my head I snatched away from him and quickly moved around him to go back in the door behind him while murmuring softly, "Uh yea...we'll talk...we'll talk later..."

I could feel his eyes on me as I snatched open the door and slipped in as fast as I could with my eyes to the ground.

What I hadn't realized at the moment was that Dynamis was still yelling and screaming and going off, so as soon as I stepped in the room everything went deathly silent.

When the realization hit me after the fact, I snapped my head up to see the entire room's focus was now on me.

I mentally slapped myself and my eyes locked with Dynamis's. He gave me a look like I was his next target and I bit my lip and shook my head while anxiously wringing my wrists.

I was on edge and I could feel a sudden anxiety attack coming on.

Dynamis sighed and shook his head, "Nile get over here and sit down. Kenta get him a cold water please."

I moved across the room to my stool that sat in the corner by the door behind where Dynamis was standing. Kenta nodded and quickly moved out the room to get me a bottle of water from the break room.

Dynamis glanced over his shoulder at me and our eyes locked. He could see I was on the verge of breaking down-anxiety attack on full blast. He took a deep breath, shook his head and then turned his attention back to everyone in the room.

I put my feet on the bars of the stool, leaned forward putting my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. I quietly took deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

Dynamis spoke sternly, "Alright. So as I was saying...this **bullshit** ends today. I'm sick of this fighting. We're about to hit the road for at least 9 months and I refuse to deal with this shit. You're not going to ruin this for Nile, for everyone whose apart of this entire team. We've all worked too hard for any of you to fuck this up! We're supposed to be a team, not at each other's throats! **Nobody** runs anything here except **me or Nile**! And when neither one of us is at practice we expect you to act like the **mature adults** you're supposed to be and do what the fuck is expected of you! We're not taking this shit on the road. I mean it! You all will be fired and replaced before I let this bullshit go on the road."

I heard the door open and Dynamis stopped for second.

I then heard quick footsteps move towards me, figuring that it must be Kenta, but I didn't move to look up at him.

Dynamis continued, "As of today, if I EVER walk into this bullshit again, anyone who looks to be involved _**will be fired on the spot**_. No buts about it. I don't give a fuck if you were just trying to hold someone back. You're involved and will be fired and replaced. And as far as today goes, Ryuga and Rago, you both were **_wrong_** and that's that! Ryuga you need to learn to keep that temper under control. Ginga you need to stay out of shit, if those two would've actually gotten into it, you would've been hurt and then that would've been a absence in the team that would be unnecessary and that could've been prevented. And Rago honey, we may be fucking but it doesn't give you any power over anyone here. You don't run shit here and I love you honey but I'm tired of hearing about your fucking mouth and this authority you're throwing on people.-"

There was a growl, a loud slam as if a stool fell over and I looked up just in time to see Rago go off.

Shit was about to hit the fan.

* * *

 **NORMAL POV**

Rago yelled, "Oh so everyone has a problem with me now! You all smile in my fucking face and then go run and snitch behind my back!-"

Dynamis cut him off and took a step forward yelling back, the aura of authority brewing off of him, "Did I say I was done!? Did I give you or anyone in this **_motherfucking_** room permission to speak! No! Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!-"

Rago growled and jabbed his pointer finger at Dynamis, "No! Now look here-"

Dynamis cut Rago off again and spoke with nothing but venom in his voice, " _ **Rago!**_ Shut up and sit down! I'm not going to say it again! This is the shit everyone is talking about! You think you run shit, that you can do as you please. And then you stand here and try to overrule my authority! **No! I run this shit and I'm telling you right now that your ass is on a very thin line right now!** You have one more time, _**ONE**_ , and then-"

"Dynamis _FUCK YOU_! Fuck all of you! I don't have to deal with this shit! Y'all hate me so much, fine! Have fun finding yourselves a new drummer on such short notice because _**I QUIT**_!"

Rago snatched his jacket off the back of his stool that fell over on the floor, and stormed in the direction towards the door.

He stopped right next to Dynamis and growled, "Don't wait up for me because you're going to be waiting for the rest of your fucking life if you do. It was fun, have a nice life!"

And with that Rago was gone, the door slamming harshly behind him.

Dynamis put on a blank face, looked at everyone in the room and spoke in a monotone voice, "Anyone else? You're all welcome to leave if you want..."

Everyone remained silent and the majority of the room stared wide eyed in fear and shock.

Dynamis gave a subtle nod, "Ok. The rest of rehearsal is cancelled, you can all go home or to whatever you had after this."

Hikaru spoke up with a look of disbelief on her face and in her voice, "But Dynamis what are we supposed to do? What are we supposed to do without a drummer? How are we supposed to find one on such short notice?"

Dynamis closed his eyes, took a deep breath and batted his had in her direction, "Don't worry about it. I'll handle it. You worry about what you're supposed to be doing. Rago will be back, don't worry."

Ryuga snorted, "Ha. And to think I was about to go out and celebrate! Shit."

Ginga and Dynamis both glared at him.

Kenta cut the moment short and spoke up in a soft but panicked voice, "Um Dynamis...help I think Nile his having a panic attack."

Dynamis spun around quickly and everyone's attention fell to a hyperventilating Nile.

Dynamis's eyes grew wide and he gasped, " _SHIT_!"

Him, Hikaru and Ginga were the first to Nile's side, followed by the entire room surrounding them.

Dynamis stooped down in front of Nile trying to get his attention, "Ny honey, can you hear me? Calm down. Whatever you're worried about, it's going to be okay..."

That seemed to make matters worse. Niles eyes grew wide and he pulled at his hair, his gasping getting faster.

"FUCK! Somebody go get Chris! **NOW**!" Dynamis hollered without taking his eyes off of Nile.

Selen was the one to move and she took off out the room and down the hall to the dance studio.

Hikaru rubbed Nile's back and spoke softly, "Ny. Ny it's Ru. Ny calm down, tell me what's wrong. What's going on? Tell me what's going through your head..."

 _No answer or acknowledgement._

Ginga stooped down next to Dynamis and called out to his best friend, "Nile buddy. Nile. You're okay. Calm down before you pass out. Nile..."

 _Still no answer or acknowledgement..._

" _FUCK!_ What the hell happened!?"

Everyone turned to see Chris standing in the doorway with mixed emotions on his face, but the most evident was worry.

He rushed over to where Nile was, pushing through the crowd. Ginga moved to stand on the side of Nile, Hikaru stood on the other side.

Dynamis glared at Chris as he stooped down in front Nile, "I should be asking you that. What the hell happened with you two? His anxiety seemed to get worse after he finished talking to you..."

Chris glared at Dynamis for a moment before turning his attention to Nile. He reached up and rubbed Nile's arms, "Bae. Bae what's the matter? Tell me what's wrong Love."

Tears began to fall from Nile's eyes as he continued to hyperventilate and pull at his hair.

Chris stood up and gently pulled Nile's hands from his hair, "Bae don't do that..." Nile fought back at first and snatched away from the touch, but Chris pulled his hands away anyways.

He then pulled Nile into his chest and held him tightly, shushing him and rubbing his back, he spoke into his ear in a soothing voice, " _Shhh_ it's okay. Whatever is wrong we'll get through it like we always do. I've got you. You're okay. Everything in going to be okay."

At first there was no change, but within a few minutes Nile cracked and broke down into Chris's chest hugging his waist tightly.

Chris sighed in relief and kissed the top of his head, " _Shhh_. I've got you Bae. I'm here. You're okay. Breathe. Slow deep breaths. I've got you. _Shhh_..."

Everyone sighed in relief when Nile responded to the suggestion of taking slow deep breaths by doing so. He responded, which meant he was alert and he came back to them and reality.

They all were sure he was going to pass out this time, but luckily it didn't get that bad.

Dynamis sighed loudly and then looked up and met Chris's eyes, " _THATS_ the only reason I allow you to stay around. The **ONLY** reason you two are still in a relationship..."

Chris shook his head in disbelief, "You're incredible. Unbelievable."

Dynamis scowled, "You're no good for him."

Hikaru sighed loudly, "Ok you two are so not gonna do this now. Not in front of Nile. Enough."

Chris kissed the top of Nile's head and spoke softly, "You wanna get some fresh air? Let's step outside for a minute so you can clear your head okay?"

Nile nodded into his chest. Kenta handed Chris Nile's water and then they moved slowly to the door and out of it.

Once outside Chris moved them a few feet from the door and then made Nile drink at least half of his bottle of water. The two then proceeded to just stand there in silence holding each other tightly.

After a good five minutes, Nile was the one to break the peaceful silence.

"Thank you..." His voice was small and meek.

Chris kissed the top of his head while murmuring, "Of course love. That's what I'm here for. To take care of you and to be there for you in any way I can... _Ehm_...well when you allow me to I mean.. _Ehm_.."

Nile playfully hit his back and giggled a little, "Shut up!"

Chris laughed and kissed the top of his head once again.

"Y'know you kinda had me worried back there. I thought I'd lost my touch for a minute there. I didn't think I'd get you to calm down, you almost broke my heart there..."

"But I came back to you didn't I?"

Chris sighed, "Yea. Just don't scare me like that again. If I can't do what I'm supposed to do, what good am I to you?"

"Don't start that nonsense Chris..."

Nile looked up to meet Chris's eyes, his chin resting in the middle of the blondes' chest. His arms tighten around Chris's waist and their eyes locked.

Chris wiped under Nile's eyes and brushed his bangs from his from his eyes. He then held his green eyed lovers face in both his hands.

A tiny smile appeared on Nile's lips and he spoke softly, "I love you. Ok?"

Chris grinned, not daring to break their intense gaze, "I love you too."

Nile's smile widened, "Kiss?"

Chris smirked, "Of course."

Nile managed to get a small giggle out before he found his blonde lover's soft persistent lips on his.

The kiss started as a few pecks, but the few pecks quickly turned into a full blown make out.

Nile couldn't help but to moan as Chris sensually ravished his mouth. The kiss was deep and full of passion. Full of love.

It was the same kind of kiss that made him fall back in love with him time and time again.

 _And turn him on._

Nile broke the kiss and their eyes locked again, foreheads pressed together. He panted and smirked, "You think you're so slick.."

Chris chuckled and smirked back, "What? I didn't do anything."

Nile continued to smirk and raised a brow, "Tryna turn me on?"

Chris just grinned.

"I'm still a little tiny bit mad at you y'know.."

Chris chuckled, "Yes I know. Your name wouldn't be Nile if you weren't still mad."

Nile played shocked.

Chris chuckled, "But either way I'm still gonna fix what I need to fix like I promised and I have something planned for you later."

Nile raised a brow, "And what would that be?"

Chris smirked, "You'll see."

* * *

 **NILE'S POV**

 _I hate the fact that I love him and yet I'm still contemplating on what needs to be done._

 _He loves me, I have no doubt in my mind or heart about that. It's just...No I can't do this right now. I've got too much on my mind and nerves. If I do, I'll find myself back in another panic attack. This last one was tough enough._

"Bae?"

I shook my head realizing I had just got lost in my thoughts, "Huh?"

He smiled softly and raised a brow, "I said, so are you gonna tell me what this panic attack was about?"

I shook my head, "No. I can't."

He frowned, "Why not?"

"I just can't Chris. Please just drop it, I don't even want to think about it."

He sighed, "Ok. Fine. Just promise that you're gonna talk to somebody about it. You know what happens if you don't."

I sighed and glanced to my left at the sun setting, "I know. I know."

"I'm just worried about you love, ok?"

I nodded and looked back up at him, "Yea. So when is dance rehearsal?"

He frowned, "You're not dancing today. Not after that panic attack. That was too much. You need to go home and rest your nerves."

I groaned, "But I'm fine! I wanna dance. Please?"

He shook his head, "It's not a good idea Bae. Plus, I'm not agreeing to nothing unless Dynamis approves it first. He already hates me enough as it is. Let's see what he says and take it from there..."

I sighed, "Fine..."

We walked back in hand in hand, our fingers intertwined. Everyone's eyes were on us as soon as we stepped through the door.

Including Dynamis's eyes.

I received a reassuring smile from everyone... _except my manager_.

I rolled my eyes at him and then glanced up at Chris, "Let me ask him. I don't need you two fighting."

He nodded and stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. Pretty much waiting for the war to start.

 _But it's not gonna happen on my watch. Not right now, I can't mentally deal with that right now._

I turned on my heel and moved to Dynamis, who was standing in the middle of the room going through his phone.

When I approached him he didn't even bother to look up at me, he just murmured with a snarky attitude, "You done with blondie over there?"

I rolled my eyes once again, "Well yes I am feeling better than I was, _THANKS_ for asking..."

Dynamis snapped his head up to look at me, "I knew you were fine when you walked in here hand in hand like a pair of love-struck teenagers. So there was no need in asking. Plus, not asking spared me all the gory details of what happened outside. Not interested. You know that."

I sighed, "Look I'm not feeling this conversation right now. I just want to ask if it'll be okay for me to go to dance rehearsal. Chris doesn't think it's a good idea, but I wanna go. So he wanted to get the okay from you so he doesn't get his ass chewed off later for making a decision without your approval first..."

He raised a brow, "Do you really think it's a good idea for you to go dance after that little performance you put on not even an hour ago?"

"Yes. I feel fine."

Dynamis shook his head, "No. I'm gonna have to agree with your little blonde boyfriend this time. You don't need the stress of learning a new dance on your mind to. You need to go home and take your anxiety meds and take a nap. Rest up. We can't afford for you to fall apart again."

I whined and pleaded with puppy dog eyes, " ** _But Dy_**! I wanna dance! I feel _fine_. I don't know what you and Chris are so worried about. Dance helps me sometimes. So.. ** _PLEASE_**? Just for a little while?"

Dynamis just stared at me for what felt like forever. He then turned his attention back to his phone and batted his hand my way, "You've got an hour. That's it!"

I squealed like a teenage girl and hugged Dy from the side, "THANK YOU!"

He groaned, "Yea yea." He then looked up and over at Chris and their eyes met, "He gets an hour that's it. No longer. And no hardcore shit. If I find him in there past his designated hour, that's _YOUR_ ass. Got it?"

I let go of Dynamis to see Chris's response. He shrugged his shoulders and stuffed his hands in his jeans, an impassive expression on his face, "Whatever. You got it. But remember this was your decision."

I looked back at Dy and gave him a look as if to say 'Don't even say a word'. I could tell he was biting his tongue hard to keep from going off and giving a smartass retort.

After glaring at Chris for a few moments longer, he turned his attention back to his phone and mumbled under his breath, " _Fucking dick_."

I snorted, "I heard that..."

He shrugged his shoulders without looking up, "So? I'm telling the truth and you know it."

I laughed mentally and walked back over to Chris.

 _He wasn't lying, but Dy is as much of a bitch as Chris is a dick._

Chris smirked at me and gave me a peck on the lips. He then turned his attention to the entire room and spoke loudly, "Dance Rehearsal in fifteen minutes. Our regular room. We've only got Nile for an hour today, so don't be late!"

With that Chris kissed me once more and left out.

Once he was out of the room I pulled out my phone and sent Ru a text. She was over in the corner talking with Selen and Mei Mei, so I didn't want to disturb their convo.

 _I need to talk to you when you get a chance..._

I looked up and watched as she smirked while reading her phone. I saw her quickly type back and I looked down at my phone just as her reply was coming through.

 **Ru:** _is this about this sudden PDA you two are showing?_

 _No. Although what I can say about that is that it wasn't me who initiated it._

 **Ru:** _But you didn't stop it or seemed to mind...have you thought about what we talked about?_

I sighed. _Here we go_.

 _Yea. What do you think contributed to my recent panic attack?_

 **Ru:** _I figured. :( sorry_

 _It's not your fault. I just have a lot on my mind and it's extremely overwhelming_

 **Ru:** _Yea and we'll talk about it later tonight..._

 _Ummmm..._

 **Ru:** _REALLY NY!?_

 _Well he has some type of plans for me tonight and won't tell me what they are..._

 **Ru:** _:[ yea and we both know what's going to come after these so called "plans" Ny_

 _No we don't because I don't know what the plans are and there's no telling how I'm going to feel afterwards..._

 **Ru:** _Don't bullshit me Ny! The last thing you need to be doing is fucking him or getting fucked by him. Or how the hell any of that works-you know what I mean! You don't need to put yourself in that position, you're just gonna get sucked right back in again!_

 _You're not lying. When he fucks me like he does after we've fought, he can get me to do anything he wants after doing that! XD_

 **Ru:** _-_- Ew! TMI!_

 _Lol sorry...but seriously I know what you mean and you're telling the truth..._

 **Ru:** _He does it every single time. But this time you're gonna snap and have another panic attack after you realize what you did and realize that you still have a decision to make. Why put yourself through that?_

 _Sigh. I know. I just...I love him.._

 **Ru:** _I know. More than you love yourself...just promise me you'll think about it beforehand or when you feel yourself falling into that situation_

 _I promise. We'll talk later and if not later than lunch tomorrow?_

 **Ru:** _Of course. Ginga too?_

 _No doubt. We need to have a little talk about him putting his ass on the line like that, I can't afford to lose either of you..._

 **Ru:** _I know Ny. I'll see you in dance in 5...ten-four?_

 _Ok. Ten-four! Over and out! :)_

* * *

Before going into the dance studio, I made my way to the changing rooms connected to the studio and changed into my sweatpants.

I hate dancing in my jeans when I'm learning a new dance.

When I walked into rehearsal I noticed that Ryuto was there. Which meant we were learning something out of Chris's league or something complicated.

Chris was setting up the music so he didn't even notice me come in.

I put my bag and phone over by the wall where the door was. I then took my place front and center facing the mirrored wall and decided to do a little bit of stretching.

Who knows what they had planned.

After about five minutes of stretching, Chris came to stand in front of the class. It seemed everyone was on time like he said to be.

I guess they all saw what kind of mood he was in today, so they decided not to push their luck.

Chris winked at me and then addressed the class as one, "Alright, I hope you all took the responsibility of stretching like you're supposed to because we only have Nile for an hour. Which means we have a lot to cover in little time and we're jumping right in as of now. I advise you to pay attention."

Chris then pulled the remote to the stereo out of his back pocket and Ryuto moved up front next to him.

"You all know how this goes. This is a new dance so that means a demonstration first and then we get down to specifics."

Me and the other dancers moved to the back wall, of course Ru and Ginga were on either side of me.

Chris and Ryuto took the center of the floor and Chris hit the play button on his remote, quickly slipping it back into his pocket.

The beat echoed throughout the room, the snapping on the track evident to be a part of the dance.

The dance started off with Chris facing forward and Ryuto strutting around him in a circle snapping in tune with the snaps on the track. That is until my voice hit the track, Chris held his hand out and the two sharply snapped into ballroom hold.

Slow fluid movements with Chris leading and Ryuto following. _Legs moving in perfect sync, bodies pressed together, snapping finishes to every movement_.

When the hook rang out the two broke apart and they went for it.

 _ **"I'm so sick of that same old love..."**_

I could tell this part was all Chris.

It was hard, sharp and full body movement.

 _Arms up, arms down, back and forth, criss-crossing._

Hip hop movement all the way. It said Chris all the way.

And I have to say he looked sexy as hell doing it too. That's where the attraction first started. Watching him in his element, in his hip hop roots and skill.

The smooth drop down and slide on the " _ **Oh**_ " part, that was Ryuto all the way and a perfect touch.

Then when the second verse hit, they were back into ballroom hold. The movements just as slow and fluid as the first verse.

Yet I had a favorite part in this verse where the lead spins the follow, _who is on one foot_ , in a complete circle slowly.

The chorus hits again and the movements are the same as before.

When the bridge comes in the dance gets intense. There's a lot of moving and switching back and forth. There's a floor slide and then we're back into the chorus, movements harsher though and filled with more energy since it is the build before the end of the song.

The dance ends with the lead holding the follow close and the follow's leg wrapped tightly around the lead's waist.

The dance was hypnotizing and exciting altogether. It got my blood pumping and adrenalin rushing just knowing that I was about to learn this.

The fans were going to _love_ this.

When the song ended the two turned to us, slightly out of breath, and bowed as everyone clapped.

Chris then took a deep breath and addressed us all, "As you can see the dance is a tango and hip hop combination. If you couldn't tell, I was the male and Ryuto was the female. You all will be in pairs and the pairs will be..."

Chris looked at Ryuto and he took over, "The pairs are Nile and Hikaru, Ginga and Madoka, Massamune and Selen, and King and Mei Mei."

Chris moved to the front of the room and leaned against the mirror, "Alright Up! Nile and Hikaru in the front. Then it's from left to right: Ginga, King and then Massamune. Ladies are with whomever she's supposed to paired with."

Everyone nodded and moved quickly into position.

* * *

About forty-five minutes into rehearsal I was _hot, sweaty, frustrated and **irritated**_.

By this time everyone had dropped their partner at least once, fell themselves, fell out of sync and lost balance.

The music stopped and Chris yelled, "Not good enough! **DO IT AGAIN!** "

 _And that was the reason why I was irritated._

Everyone groaned and got back into first position.

Me and Chris have been in three arguments since we started learning the dance. It was mostly about him being an ass and going into that drill sergeant mode.

The group has only made it to the chorus once since starting to learn the dance.

We spent twenty fucking minutes learning the ballroom hold because it was crucial if we wanted to get the tango part of the dance right.

Ru was the only reason I've bitten my tongue these last five minutes, because I was on the verge of going the fuck off on Chris.

The music started and so did the fucking drill sergeant, "Nile your leg isn't snapping back hard enough or in time! Massamune fix your hold! Ginga... ** _Oh my God_**! What the hell!? For fucks sake everybody stop! _**START AGAIN**_!"

I growled.

Ru looked at me as if to say 'keep your mouth shut'.

But I couldn't.

I groaned and snapped, "I'm tired of singing the same fucking few lines over and over Chris!"

"Then get the dance right and do what the fuck you're supposed to do and then you wouldn't have that fucking problem!" He snapped back.

Just as I was about to lay him out, Kenta came in the room, "Ny your hour is up...lets go.."

I sighed and mumbled under my breath, "Thank God."

Chris addressed the class as I got my bag and phone, "Alright since Nile is leaving we're moving on to back up dances only. Starting with **_Sober_**. Nile doesn't have a big part in that and we've already worked on half. Everyone into position! Ryuto start them off, I'll be right back."

As I was making my way out the door following Kenta, Chris was on my heels.

I sighed, "What now Chris?"

He grabbed my wrist and stopped me mid tracks in the hallway. I turned around to look at him and he kissed me softly.

I pulled back scowling, "No. Don't be nice now..."

He smirked and pushed my bangs off my sweaty forehead, "Be ready by six forty-five. No later. I mean it."

I rolled my eyes and went to turn on my heel, "Uhuh whatever-"

He spun me back around and kissed me hard, taking my breath away. When we finally pulled apart we were slightly panting.

He smirked and kissed my forehead, "Love you."

I shook my head, and turned and left.

When I got outside Kenta was at the door waiting for me in the driver's seat of my truck. I got in and we took off.

My phone buzzed and I knew it had to be either Dy or Chris.

When I looked at my phone it turned out to be Dynamis.

 **Dy:** _You have left dance rehearsal right?_

I smiled to myself and shook my head as I replied.

 _Yes I'm on my way home to take a much needed shower right now. Kenta is driving._

 **Dy:** _Take your anxiety meds Ny. I mean it._

 _I am Dynamis! Geez!_

 **Dy:** _I know you. You'll "forget" and then be all over the place again._

 _Whatever. So what are we going to do about a drummer?_

 **Dy:** _Don't worry about it. Rago will be back by tomorrow. No worries. I'm on my way to handle this problem right now._

 _Alright Dy. I sure hope so..._

 **Dy:** _Are you doubting my persuasive skills?_

 _Lol! No and I don't need you to elaborate on what your persuasive skills consist of when it comes to the two of you. Ew!_

 **Dy:** _It's not even about that. I know him. He'll be just fine tomorrow. As far as our relationship goes, he'll be putty in my hands within the hour. But getting him to come back as the drummer will be a little more work, his pride is hurt. Don't worry though. I should be confirming that everything is fine and a go later tonight. I'll text you later with the update and confirmation._

 _Ok. I'll be looking out for the text._

* * *

By the time six thirty came around I had had my hour long shower, took my meds with a snack, attempted to finish writing a song, took a thirty minute nap and now...

I'm running behind...like **big** time.

 _Chris is gonna chew me out._

As I was ripping off another shirt and throwing it on my bed, my phone buzzed letting me know I had a text.

I groaned and ran in the bathroom to see who it was. Even though I already knew who it was. It was just wishful thinking that maybe it'd be someone else.

I looked at my phone and saw that I was correct...unfortunately...

 **Chris3:** _Hey Bae I'll be there in 10. Be ready..._

 _Ummm..._

 **Chris3:** _OMFG Bae! What now!? I told you to be ready!_

I groaned and was tempted to slam my phone, but I can't afford to break my phone again. Dynamis would lay me out. Again.

 _I know that! I can't find anything to wear! You didn't exactly tell me what the hell the dress code was..._

It took him a minute to text me back this time. He was either really pissed off or driving...

 **Chris3:** _Dress to impress me ;)_

 _Yea that's really helpful Chris..._

 **Chris3:** _You got five minutes. You better stop texting and get ready..._

 _I'm not gonna be ready in five minutes. That's just not possible. You and I both know this..._

I put the phone down and ran back into my dressing room and stared at my choices.

 _Dress to impress him...What the hell..._

I grabbed my black blazer off the hanger, an orange polo out of one of my drawers and took off back into my room.

Once in there I threw on my dark wash jeans that I had tried on an hour ago, put on my belt with all the chains and slipped on my orange polo.

I ran into the bathroom and quickly went over my bangs with the flat iron. I slightly spiked the top of my hair with a tiny bit of gel, lightly lined my lower eyelid with black eyeliner, unplugged the flat iron and then took off back into my room.

Just as I was about to put my jacket on, I heard the front door open downstairs. I heard the door slam and him walk to the bottom of the steps.

"BAE! C'mon! We're gonna be late. I called you twice. What the hell are you doing!?" Chris hollered.

I groaned and hollered back as I was slipping on my blazer, "I'm coming! I'm putting my shoes on now. Go to the car, I'll meet you out there!"

I heard him walk back to the door, "You got two minutes!"

He slammed the door and I rushed to slip on my orange black and green high top converse.

I kicked all the clothes I had tried on that were on the floor into a pile and threw the ones that I tossed on the bed on top of the pile. I kicked the pile over by the bathroom door, went in and grabbed my phone and wallet off the counter, hit the lights and then rushed downstairs.

I turned the light on in the foyer before grabbing my keys off the table by the door and left out the house, locking up behind myself and hitting the alarm button on my key chain.

Of course Chris was right out front, directly in front of the door. I hopped in and he just stared at me.

"What! I'm sorry ok? But this is part your fault since-"

He cut me off smirking, "You look good Bae..."

That was the last thing I expected him to say so I was slightly thrown off guard and blushed from the unexpected compliment.

I put my seatbelt on, trying not to let him see the blush he caused, "Thank you..."

He chuckled, put his truck in drive and sped off...

* * *

About twenty minutes into the car ride I was getting restless and Chris wasn't talking, so I decided to break the silence.

I turned as much as I could in my seat to face him, " ** _Christopher_**...where are we going? How much longer until we get there?..."

He cut his eyes at me but deliberately didn't answer me.

"I know you hear me talking to you..."

He sighed loudly, but still didn't answer me.

I growled, "CHRIS!"

"Huh!?" He feigned innocence and quickly glanced at me before returning his eyes to the road ahead, "Oh you were talking to me? Well who the hell is Christopher? I thought that you were maybe on the phone or there was somebody else in the car I didn't know about. Because I KNOW you weren't talking to me..."

I reached over and lightly smacked him on the back of the head, "You're such an ass!"

He laughed and smirked.

I whined, "Chris! Where are we going? Can't you at least give me a hint? Please!?"

"No.."

"Why!?"

He groaned and then sighed, "Because Bae, you don't need to know everything. You just don't. So sit back and relax and enjoy the ride."

I huffed and turned around in my seat muttering to myself while staring out the passenger window, "This is bullshit. I feel like I'm being fucking kidnapped or some shit..."

He chuckled, "Bae if I was kidnapping you, it'd be a lot _**kinkier**_ than this. _Trust me on that..._ "

I folded my arms across my chest and grumbled, "Fucking pervert..."

He burst into laughter.

* * *

He ended up taking me all over the place. I could tell it was a lot of planning on his part and he had to have had some strings pulled.

Our first stop was to a carnival. We played a few games and I convinced him to get on a couple of rides with me.

Our second stop was dinner at an extremely expensive restaurant. But I have to guiltily admit that the food was amazing and I would love to go back.

Our third stop was to get dessert and a drink at this little place outside of town.

Actually I believe everything took place outside of the city and in this little town.

Our fourth and final stop was back to my house where we attempted to watch a movie, but actually I currently find myself doing something I promised Ru I wouldn't...

But in my defense...Oh _hell_ I don't have a defense and right now in the moment I'm not regretting anything

He's currently fucking the **_shit_** out of me and I feel like I'm on cloud nine.

I knew it'd be rough and passionate because all of our makeup sex, or should I say makeup _fucking_ , always is. But tonight he's just going all out and I'm loving every bit of it...

Even though in the morning I'm gonna hate myself and will probably need to double up on my anxiety meds.

But right now _in this moment_ I'm gonna let myself enjoy this immense pleasure...

* * *

We ended up only getting three rounds out of each other before collapsing from sheer exhaustion.

The only reason I'm up right now is because my phone is being obnoxiously loud.

We probably could've gone for longer if we hadn't had such a long day, but I'm actually glad it was only three rounds.

We should've never went for one round in all honesty, but I can't take it back now, can't reverse time. Unfortunately.

I pretty much crawled out of bed and across the floor to my clothes that had been thrown everywhere in the heat of passion last night.

I needed to turn that fucking noise off, it was making this splitting headache and current hangover even worse than it already was. The drinks we had last night must've been extremely strong or had a type of alcohol in it that I've never had, because I rarely ever get hangovers or hangover symptoms.

"Mmmm! Bae turn that shit off..." Chris groaned from buried under the covers.

I glanced back at the bed to see and hear that he was still deep asleep. He must can hear it in his sleep.

 _Well it is that fucking loud..._

I finally found my phone and his buried under his jeans. As soon as I got my phone in my hand I hit the silence switch on the side so it'd turn everything incoming or any new alerts to vibrate.

I then pretty much crawled back over to the bed, slightly wincing at how bad my ass was hurting as I crawled in the bed and sat up with the covers pulled to my waist.

I put Chris's phone on my nightstand and then looked to see why my phone was making all that goddamn noise.

It was a text message from Dy...

 **Dy:** _Hey Ny, ok so the update on Rago is...me and him are good but as of tomorrow we start our search for a new drummer. I'm sorry. I know I basically promised that he'd come back but he's not budging on this and we have no time to waste groveling at his feet begging him to come back. I know you're probably on the verge of cracking right now but don't worry, we'll get through this. Everything will be fine. We'll discuss more this afternoon..._

" _ **SHIT!**_ "

* * *

 **There's a lot going on, isn't it? XD**

 **Well I hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will be out soon. Please don't forget to comment, follow and fave!**

 **Stay tuned because there's A LOT to be unraveled in this story ;)**

 **Thanks again for reading! :)**

 **SHOUT OUT: Won-Chan108, you're a HUGE inspiration to me, and I will always remain one of your BIGGEST and MOST LOYAL fans.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm FINALLY back with the 2nd chapter update! Don't worry this Author's Note won't be long, I know you wan to get to the story.**

 **I'm sorry I missed my own deadline, I know I posted it on my bio page but RL hit me like a ton of bricks and I received some devastating family news Friday at work, and my writing got put on the back burner.**

 **I'm still down, but I refused to leave you guys hanging any longer. I hate breaking a promise. I feel so bad.**

 **So I hope this update will make up for it!**

 **(Alright enough with my RL drama and pity party Lol)**

 ** A few heads up before we get to the story:**

 **-Strong profanity(forgot to mention that in the 1st chap sorry)**

 **-A _slight_ lemon- I wouldn't call it full yaoi because it's not, its not even a lemon..i'd say more of a lime XD**

 **You get to see more into Nile's friendships/relationships and there's some RyugaXGinga too! ;)**

 _ **Disclaimer:**_

 _ **I own none of the characters, just the plot idea!**_

 _ **I do not own the game(rights) JUST DANCE 2015 or am the manufacturer(creator) and have the rights to the XBOX KINECT SYSTEM.**_

 **Now on to the story! Hope you enjoy! Love Ya!**

* * *

 **NILE'S POV**

After screaming and accidentally waking up Chris last night, he went off on me for scaring the shit out of him. He thought I was hurt or something tragic happened. He was so pissed off with me that he went and slept in the guess room.

That did _wonders_ for my mental stability.

I ended up tossing and turning all night with racing and panicked thoughts. I couldn't figure out if wanted to cry or scream. The alcohol mixed with my anxiety meds wearing off was not the best combination. My mind and emotions were all over the place.

So the first thing I did when I got up this morning was drink three huge glasses of water and eat a big breakfast with my anxiety meds. It was best if I flushed my system as much as I could and then fill my stomach with as much substance as I could to soak up any alcohol I had in my system so that I could feel the full effect of my meds.

 _I was going to need it badly today._

Chris made breakfast for me after apologizing for going off on me. I was too immersed in my thoughts to be angry or give a rats ass about what he had to say. But that's not to say that the previous nights events didn't weigh heavily on my mind along with everything else.

I went in my office, closed the door and called Demure once I was done eating. He's my keyboard player, but he's also a childhood best friend that I can always go to when I want the raw truth. He tells me everything and I do the same, we've always been that way.

He answered on the third ring sounding out of breath.

"Hey Ny what's up?"

"Uh nothing. Am I interrupting something?"

I didn't want to say what it sounded like he was doing but I didn't want to be **_rude_** and just start talking without taking into consideration what he _was_ doing.

He chuckled, "No I'm just going for my morning run. Get your mind out of the gutter."

I chuckled nervously, "Oh um my bad..."

I could practically hear the frown on his face, "What's wrong Ny? Usually I get a snarky or smartass retort. Not to mention it's kinda early for you to be up on a Saturday isn't it?"

I sighed, "Yea I didn't sleep well. Racing thoughts and such..."

"That's not all of it, is it?"

I paused for a moment, my mind wandering and slipping into a slight panic because everything hit me at once.

"Ny?"

I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry D I'm just really overwhelmed and my anxiety is through the roof.."

"Did you take your meds?"

"Yea that's one of the first things I did this morning."

"Well what's wrong? Is it that jackass again?"

" _ **D!**_ "

"What! What's he done **_now_**? No scratch that. You _**slept**_ with him again didn't you?"

I groaned, "Yes! But that's not what set me over the edge."

"I'm pretty sure he's the root of why you're like this. But I'm gonna entertain you and ask. _What set you over the edge Ny?_ "

"Dy sent me a text last night in the middle of the night letting me know that Rago isn't coming back. **_For sure_**. We have to start a search for a new drummer ASAP. What the hell am I gonna do!? What if we don't find one in time!? What if... **UGH FUCK!** "

I heard him sigh, "Ny calm down. Everything will be fine-"

" **NO!** Don't you feed me that _bullshit_ to! I'm tired of everybody feeding me that bullshit when we all know it's not true! Fuck! You're the one who tells me straight up if I'm royally fucked! Don't do this to me D..."

"What the _hell_ are you talking about? I'm not feeding you any kind of _bullshit_. Yes I'm the one who gives it to you raw, and I'm telling you right now that everything will be fine. Do you know how many people would **kill** to be your goddamn drummer!? Theres not gonna be a problem finding a drummer, they're a dime a dozen. It's just finding one that's gonna fit in with everyone with no problems. Shit, if you ask me it's a blessing in disguise that Rago quit. He was trouble anyways and he caused too much drama and tension in the band and team. He wasn't an asset he was cancer that needed to be removed. And you got lucky that he removed himself. So _chill out_. Everything will be fine. Ok?"

I took a shuttering deep breath and my voice came out small, "Yea...ok.."

"Now as far as your little _boyfriend_ goes-"

"D please don't I'm not-"

" _ **No!**_ I'm gonna say what needs to be said. You're little boyfriend, what'd he say when you got the message last night?"

"Well I kinda screamed as an automatic response after reading the message and woke him up out of his sleep, scaring him half to death. He went off on me-"

" _ **DID HE**_ -"

"NO!...Not since I said something and stood up to him the last time...he just yelled at me and laid me out using every cuss word known to man and then made me sleep by myself."

D was quiet. _Too quiet_. Which meant he was biting his tongue or about to tell me like it is with no filter and somethings **MIGHT** hurt.

"Ny you need to get your _shit_ together. I'm not gonna tell you again what you need to do. You already know. I don't want to hear this love bullshit because that's exactly what it is, **_bullshit_**. You shouldn't still be thinking about this, there's only **one** answer to this problem and no matter how long you think about it, it's gonna be the same solution. The longer you put it off the more it affects your mental health. I don't wanna hear that he's not the reason why your anxiety is back and back worse than its been since you were younger, because **he is** the reason. You need to man the hell up and face the facts and face that after you do what you need to do, you're going to need to be by yourself for a little while to get back to where you were. Don't let this ruin you. It's not worth it. Being alone isn't the end of the world. And you're never really alone, you have a whole damn camp behind you..."

He was right and I hate that he is ninety-nine percent of the time.

"I hate you. You do know that right?"

He laughed, "I love you too Ny. Make sure you stay on top of your meds today and I'll text you later to see how you're doing."

"Ok...Thanks D..."

"No problem Ny. Bye."

"Bye..."

* * *

After I hung up with D I got a text from Ru letting me know that we were meeting up at Ginga's and Ryuga's house in about two hours.

That gave me two hours to mentally prepare myself for another scolding.

I moved upstairs to get ready and I sent a text to Dynamis asking what was the next step and what he needed from me.

 **Dy:** _Oh wow. I'm surprised to hear from you. Thought you'd be giving me the cold shoulder for letting you down or that I'd be getting a call from that boy of yours telling me you snapped and had to be admitted._

 _You're so funny Dynamis. You should be a stand up comedian -_-_

 **Dy:** _Haha! thank you! But to answer your question, Bao is letting the news out later today and then me and him are going to sit down and figure out how to put the call out there without causing the whole entire world to go in uproar to be Nile's drummer. I won't need you until I need you to okay what we come up with. But you and I both know I'm gonna release it whether you like it or not. So we'll call it a heads up. I am definitely going to need you for the "search"/"audition" process._

 _When will that be? I need to mentally prepare for this you know this..._

 **Dy:** _Depending on what we come up with and how long it takes us. Maybe as soon as tomorrow, no later than Tuesday. But you know Bao is fantastic at his job so I'm looking at Monday being the start of our search._

 _Okay...I guess...I'm not exactly looking forward to this.._

 **Dy:** _Yea I know Ny. It'll be fine though. Anyways...How're you?_

 _I'm here...you know you got me in trouble last night with that text -_-.._

 **Dy:** _In trouble with who? Chris? That jackass isn't anyone. Don't worry about him._

 _Dynamis! I seriously pissed him off last night. He went off on me and everything..._

 **Dy:** _Everything?_

 _No not that. But either way it wasn't good!_

 **Dy:** _Well I usually send you stuff that late because you usually just read it in the morning and then have all day to freak out and process it. What were you doing up reading it that time of night anyways?_

 _Some stuff happened last night so I forgot to turn my phone to silent so my phone was screeching last night and woke me up..._

 **Dy:** _Uhuh stuff..I hear you Ny..well you need to make sure your phone is on vibrate at night. Why don't you just put it on a timer that puts it on that nighttime mode?_

 _Because I don't want to have it go into that mode at the same time every night. I don't go to bed the sane time every night. It's all good. I just got side tracked last night. It won't happen again. Don't worry about it..._

 **Dy:** _Ok if you say so. Hey I gotta go, I have a meeting with Ryo, phone conference. We'll touch bases later._

 _Ok..._

* * *

My little text convo with Dy didn't help me feel any better so I decided to just go take a shower to try and relax and get ready.

After taking my shower and being _molested_ by Chris for a good twenty minutes while I was trying to get ready, I finally made it out of the house ( _after taking another dose of my meds_ ) and onto the road with twenty minutes to spare.

It took me a good fifteen minutes to get to the house, since Ginga and Ryuga live back off the roads like me.

When I pulled up in front of the house I noticed Ryuga's mustang was gone. As I was getting out of my truck, I got a text from Ru saying they were in the game room in the basement.

I knew the door was open since he was expecting me to come, so I just went in and locked it behind myself.

As I made my way through the house and down the stairs to the basement, I could hear music from a familiar and popular family's game blaring from the wall sized tv in the game room.

 _Well at least that meant I'd get to have some type of fun today and I won't just be sat down and scolded like a small child who got caught stealing cookies from a cookie jar._

As I stepped off the last step I noticed their backs were to me so I smirked and hollered over the loud ass tv, "Does the music really have to be **that** loud!?"

They both squeaked and turned to look at me before two huge grins came to their faces.

Ru came over and gave me a tight hug and a smack on the back of the head.

Ginga laughed and we all moved to sit on the big plush sectional sofa in the middle of the room.

"Hey Ginga, where's Ryuga? I saw his mustang was gone."

Ginga raised a brow, "Oh so he took the _Mustang_? Interesting."

I looked at Ru with a raised brow myself and she giggled, "Ryuga went to hang out with an old best friend from high school. Him and Ginga got into it just before he left about which car he was taking and what'd he be doing all day."

Ginga shrugged, "Whatever. I don't care anymore. He'll text me later because he'll feel guilty for walking out without saying a word. Not even a goodbye. It's all good. Anyways, what's going on with you Nile buddy? I hear we have a lot to catch up on, especially that little _incident_ you had yesterday..."

I sighed, "I just took my second dose of meds, can we at least give them a moment to kick in before you two start chewing me out? **_Geez_**."

Ru frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, "What'd you do now? Or better yet...What'd **he** do now?"

I could feel a blush coming on as I thought about last nights events, " _Nothing_!"

Ginga looked at me with a calculating gaze, "You two had sex...didn't you?"

Ru looked really disappointed.

 _I honestly expected her to blow up at me as soon as she found out, this disappointment thing is kinda throwing me off._

"Ny but what about what we talked about yesterday?.."

I adverted my gaze to the floor.

Ginga spoke up in a soft voice, " _Why do you keep doing this?_ You sleeping with him isn't gonna make anything better. It's actually making it worse. The more you two sleep together, the more attached you get to each other."

I groaned and leaned forward, elbows on knees, face in hands, " _ **I know. I know.**_ "

I could hear Ru sigh, "Ny he's the main reason your anxiety is back full force like this. You **can't** tour like this. You can't be doped up on anxiety meds and expect to give the audience, _your fans_ , your all."

I snapped my head up and glared at the both of them, "I have _other things_ contributing to my anxiety y'know! I have this interview coming up. This song and video release. This whole drummer bullshit. The tour! The list goes the fuck on! So I'm not defending him but don't blame this all on him!"

Ru glared back at me, "Don't be **stupid** Ny! Don't try to justify this with those other problems. I know some of those things are pretty bad for your anxiety, I'm not knocking them or saying they're insignificant, but you know the real reason. _**Don't give me this bullshit!**_ Your eyes-"

I watched as her eyes drifted from the connection we had to my wrists.

Her eyes grew wide, "What the _**fuck**_ are those!?"

I glanced down at me wrists and looked back at her, " _Nothing!"_

Ginga furrowed his brows, " **THOSE** don't look like _nothing_ Nile..."

Ru scowled, "Yea you look like you've been chained up to a **_fucking wall_** for half of your damn life! What the **hell** Ny!"

I groaned, "Oh my God! You two know I bruise easily, it's nothing serious. **_Chill the fuck out!_** "

Ginga raised a brown, " _Uhuh_...How'd you get them then?"

 _I could tell they weren't gonna let up on this.._

I sighed and looked down at my hands, "They most likely came from when he had me pinned to the wall yesterday, when we went to talk in the hall..." I looked up at both of them, "They also could've come from us _**fucking**_ last night. We _were_ a little rough-"

Ginga cut me off, "There _better_ not be anymore marks on you like that Nile-"

Ru cut him off, " _Wait a minute!_ First off why the **hell** did he have you pinned to the wall?"

"He was angry. We'd gotten into this big fight and I had been avoiding him and ignoring his calls..he was more frustrated and worried about me more than anything. It just came out in the form of anger..."

Ginga scoffed, " _Right._ That's what set off that damn anxiety attack yesterday. Not this other crap you're listing and claiming to be the source."

Ru nodded, "Yea and that explains why you looked so _petrified_ and out of it when you came back into the room. Ny did he-"

I growled, " _ **No!**_ And that's not the reason why. No. He was expressing how much he loved me and how much he was worried and how sorry he was-"

Ru scoffed cutting me off, " ** _Right_** because you show someone how much you love them by roughly slamming them up against the wall and pinning them there with _no way_ to escape. _Oh yea_ -"

I cut her of snapping, "Will you just **shut up** and _listen_! What set me off was his confessions. All I could think about was what I needed to do to this man who was _pouring_ his heart out to me. This man who I love so much and he loves back. The reality of it all hit me like a ton of bricks along with everything else piled on top of that and that caused my mind to snap. I **_snapped_**. I lost my grip on reality and everything."

Ginga sighed, "So him roughly handling you like that and doing who knows what to you while in that hold, along with screaming at you, you're saying had no effect on your anxiety or panic attack whatsoever?"

I sighed in defeat, "Ok so maybe a little. But just a little."

Ru gave me the whatever look, " _Mhm_ sure. Whatever you say."

I groaned, "Don't be like that Ru! Please!"

Ginga sighed, "Nile...this relationship is nowhere near healthy-"

I cut him off snapping, " _REALLY_ Ginga! Oh you're one to _**fucking**_ talk!"

Ginga snapped back at me, "What the hell are you talking about!? My relationship is just fine thank you very much!"

"Yea that's why you almost got fucking fired yesterday! Because your relationship is _so perfect_!"

Ru looked at Ginga, "Ginga. He's right-"

Ginga snapped cutting her off, "Oh so you're in on this _**too**_!? What the hell?!" He looked at me, "When did your **shit** get turned around on _me_!? This was about you! Not me!"

Ru sighed, "Ginga we were going to bring this to your attention..." Ru turned a glare onto me gritting her teeth, "After we were done addressing Nile's shit..."

I glared back at her, "Well he brought up the fucking topic! What's a better time than now!?"

Ginga scoffed and folded his arms across his chest.

I looked at Ginga, "Ginga. This shit with you jumping into Ryuga's fights and shit has got to stop! Yesterday you could've been hurt. Do you realize how much bigger Rago is than you? Ryuga could've taken him, but if you would've gotten into that crossfire you would've-"

He cut me off, "Ryuga wouldn't have let that happen-"

I snapped cutting him off, " _BULLSHIT_! You don't see how Ryuga zones out when he gets angry like that. You're just always so worried about calming him down-"

"Yea because I know what he's capable of! I've seen it! Not to mention the last thing I need is for him to be locked up!"

I sighed, "Ginga, you've got to stop this shit. I can't deal with this. _We_ can't deal with this. If you would've gotten hurt yesterday what do you think would've happened? Ryuga wouldn't even have realized it until after the fact."

He sighed and closed his eyes.

I spoke softly, finally calming down just a little bit, "Ginga, me and Ru wouldn't be able to deal if something happened to you. I can't even imagine dealing if you were to get fired, let alone hurt. We're telling you this as your friends."

Ru finally decided to speak up looking at Ginga, "Ginga, you know how much we need each other. Especially how much Nile needs us, needs you. Just listen. Dynamis meant what he said yesterday and you know it. We can't afford to have you gone too. Not to mention what the hell it would do to Nile's mental health. How're you supposed to be there for him if you get fired?"

"Ginga I need you. You're my best friend."

Ginga sighed again and then opened his eyes, looking back and forth at both of us, "I know okay. I know and I'm sorry. It's just it's an automatic instinct to just jump in. He's the love of my life. My automatic instinct is to protect him."

I chuckled softly, "Ginga do you realize that Ryuga always seems to have opponents _twice_ your size. He can handle himself, we all know this."

Ginga and Ru both giggled a little, "Yea I know. I just try to intervene and calm him down so it doesn't have to get to that point of him having to handle himself. It doesn't need to go that far."

I nodded, "Yea I get it, but you can do that from afar.."

"Sometimes. Not all the time. Sometimes he's too far gone and the only way to get him to calm down is to physically pull his focus to something else."

Ru spoke up again, "Well then maybe you two need to sit down and talk about this. You need to express how you feel about all this and to remind him that you're putting your safety on the line for his, when we all know the outcome will consist of you probably getting hurt rather than him."

Ginga scratched the back of his head nervously, "He knows that. That's why he sometimes goes off on me later when he cools down."

I looked at him in utter disbelief, "Then why the **_hell_** don't you listen to him!?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, because I just figure it's just Ry being his overprotective self."

Ru reached over and smacked Ginga on the back of the head before scolding him, " _Are you stupid?!_ He's trying to protect you just like you're trying protect him you **idiot**! Listen to him, he knows his limits and what he's capable of. Whether he knows how to control it when it gets to a certain point, that's for him to figure out and fix if need be. But **you**! _You idiot!_ You need to listen sometimes! He feels the exact same way you do. The big difference is he can do a much better job protecting you than you protecting him!"

Ginga smiled sheepishly, "Yea I know. I'm sorry you guys. I'll stop. I promise. It's gonna be hard, but I'm just gonna have to fight it. Me and Ry will talk later and we'll work on trying to figure out how to pull him from that dark space when he gets to that point where physical contact is needed. We'll figure it out...some way..."

I sighed and smiled, "Thank you!"

Ru smiled and nodded in agreement.

Ginga sighed, "Now back-"

He was, to my luck, cut off by my phone ringing.

 _Thank God._

 _I needed a break from the scolding. Even if it's for just a minute._

I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and saw it was Dynamis calling. I quickly answered it knowing it most likely was extremely important if he actually picked up the phone to call instead of texting.

"Hey Dy what's up?"

"Hey Ny. Bao released the statement about Rago quitting. It's on the entertainment news right now."

I moved the phone from my ear slightly and pointed at the tv, "Turn on the entertainment news. Bao put out a statement about Rago."

Ginga moved quickly to do as I said.

I then returned my attention back to the phone.

"Sorry Dy. I'm at Ginga's house with Ru. I was just telling them to turn the tv on."

"Oh ok. Well we thought it was best to let the news out sooner rather than later before rumors started. Those are harder to clean and clear up."

I was about to reply, but paused when I saw the story on the tv.

* * *

 _"Yea. So apparently Nile's long time drummer quit yesterday. According to his publicist it was due to_ _ **irreconcilable differences**_ _and things that had been going on for a while now. He says that the two are on good terms and the decision was mutual. People grow apart everyday and that's what happened in this situation. The decision might've been mutual, but it was still hard on them both. Nile and his camp would like some time and privacy to deal with this matter and ask that the press and his fans please respect his request. Then Nile released a tweet not too long after that thanking his fans for understanding and respecting his request. He thanked them for their support and then posted a picture not too long after on his Instagram of him performing and Rago rocking out on the drums just behind him. He captioned the picture with 'This guy has always given everything he does his all. He wasn't just a drummer, he was a friend too. Thanks for the amazing years buddy, you'll be missed on tour this go around there's no doubt about that.'"_

 _"If you ask me the quote sounds a little_ _ **morbid**_ _to me, almost as if he's died or something."_

 _The first news anchor laughed, "No. I think when you've been this close to someone for so long it kinda is like a death when you split. I totally get it. We have no idea what his team and band went through with Rago, I know Nile's team is a close knit group so I know this is effecting them all.. It's gotta be hard on them all."_

 _The second news anchor shrugged, "Yea true. We've reached out to Rago and rumored boyfriend slash Nile's manager, Dynamis, for comment but have yet to receive a response. We'll have more on this story later tonight at 7:30-"_

* * *

Ginga cut the tv off and I turned my attention back to the phone.

"Dy did you really have to post that sappy comment on my Instagram?"

"What? It wasn't _that_ bad."

"Poor Chris. The paparazzi is gonna hound him when he comes from the studio later.."

Dynamis sighed, " _Really_ Ny. I'm hanging up. That's the first thing you-"

"No! I didn't mean it like that. They're gonna hound you too so be careful. Make sure Rago knows too. Even though I know he's probably gonna be mad when he sees that sappy shit you wrote on social media."

"Nah he'll be cool. We talked not too long ago. He's good. You be careful. I might need to call Aguma or Argo. The paps are gonna eat you alive."

I groaned, "I'm really not feeling like being followed around, but I hear what you're saying. Why ask for privacy and peace and all that other bullshit if we all know they won't listen."

"It's to protect you in case something happens between you and the paps. You can use that statement to your advantage in more than one way."

"Oh ok..."

"Well I gotta go. Me and Bao have a lot more to work on. Log on to your tv network and set your receivers to record all the entertainment news for tonight. You need to keep up to date on what they're reporting. Plus you may see something I miss."

"Ok I hear you."

"We'll talk later. Bye Ny."

"Bye Dy. Tell Bao I said hi and thanks again for everything."

"Ok will do"

When I hung up Ginga and Ru were staring at me and shaking their heads.

"I know. **_I know_**. Shut up! I hear you."

Ru raised a brow, " _Are you sure?_ I was starting to wonder if you were _deaf_ or was losing your hearing or something, because I swear-"

I threw a pillow at her successfully shutting her up, and both her and Ginga laughed.

* * *

We ended up playing _Just Dance 2015_ on the _Xbox Kinect_ for a good hour before taking a break. They were constantly grilling me and talking to me about everything while we played though.

I was glad I at least got to do something while they continued to talk and scold me. It honestly helped me to take in the things they were saying better.

Plus I was beating their asses in the game for at least a good half hour.

But about an hour into our gameplay Ryuga came home, and by looking at Ginga's facial expression I could tell he wasn't supposed to be home yet.

Of course Ginga being Ginga, he decided to play like he didn't hear him come in and that he was still mad.

Me and Ru knew Ginga wasn't still mad, he was so full of crap.

He tried to get us to keep playing the game, but us knowing his game decided it was time to take a break. Maybe have a snack or something.

Ginga gave us both the side eye. He knew exactly what we were doing.

I mean we usually play this game for _hours_ when we meet up like this with no " _breaks_ " whatsoever.

But me and Ru figured him and Ryuga talking was inevitable, and judging by the surprise early homecoming, Ryuga had the same thing on his mind.

Ginga was just about to say something smart when Ryuga came downstairs. Everybody's attention was drawn to the stairs. Ryuga paused mid way on the steps and his and Ginga's eyes met.

It was silent for a good minute before Ryuga broke the silence, "Hey baby. Can we talk?"

Ginga rolled his eyes, " **No**."

He then moved to the sofa, sat down, curled up, pulled out his phone and proceeded to pretend Ryuga wasn't even in the room.

Ryuga let out an exasperated sigh and came down the rest of the steps. He moved quickly over to where Ginga was sitting, standing behind him. He snatched Ginga's phone from his hand and Ginga gave him a venomous glare.

Ru looked at me with a look as if to say **_'shit is about to go down'_** and I snorted pulling out my phone, pretending to go through it so it wouldn't seem like I was all in their business. Ru did the same, although she was kinda obvious in her watching everything play out.

I watched as Ryuga came and got down on the floor on his knees in front Ginga, but Ginga just grabbed the remote to the tv and started flicking through the channels.

Ryuga sighed loudly and snatched the remote from Ginga, tossing it on the sofa near me.

I inwardly groaned. _Ginga better not drag me into this shit, asking me to hand him the remote or some shit like that._

 _I'm not in this one. I wasn't here to see it play out earlier and I'm not gonna interfere now._

Before Ginga could say anything to me Ryuga cut him off, "C'mon baby just hear me out. _Please_?"

"I have nothing to say to you Ryuga, and you have nothing to say to me that I want to hear right now. Give me my phone back and **leave me alone**."

"You're not getting _shit_ back until we talk so..."

Ginga proceeded to ignore him by turning his attention back to the tv and pretending to watch what was on there.

Ryuga growled, " _ **Goddammit**_ Ginga! I'm not in the mood for your little games. Just hear me the **fuck** out."

Ginga snapped his attention to Ryuga, "Yea Ryuga you talking to me like that will _definitely_ work out in your favor. _Smooth_. Real smooth Ryuga."

"I hate when you play these little games! These bullshit control games. I don't have time for this shit. Just hear me out and stop with all this bullshit."

Under Ryuga's tight ass t-shirt I could see the muscles in his back flex and then his entire back go rigid.

He was **_pissed_**.

But I have to admit he was doing a good job of keeping his anger held back. Most likely it was only because it was Ginga who was doing this to him.

Ginga folded his arms across his chest and raised a brow, "You're pushing your limits right now Ryuga."

Ryuga took a deep breath and then spoke up again, "Look baby. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I love you. I didn't mean to upset you and I'm sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. I was _livid_. You pissed me the hell off. But after I left I instantly regretted everything. Our fight was stupid. You're all I've been thinking about since I walked out that door. I felt like complete shit for what I did and said. I came all the way back home to talk to you, to work through this. You say I'm always running from problems, well _here I am_. I'm trying baby, give me some kinda credit please. _Please_ baby."

Ginga sighed and unfolded his arms. He put his hands in his lap and that's where his focus stayed when he mumbled, "I was worried about you. You driving angry is dangerous..."

"Look at me..." Ryuga reached a hand up to lift Ginga's chin so that their eyes connected, and I could see the tears brimming Ginga's eyes.

Ryuga spoke softly, "I'm sorry ok? I'm _so_ sorry."

Ginga nodded and whimpered as a few tears fell from his eyes, "I'm sorry too. Thank you for coming back."

Ryuga smirked, "Of course baby. See I listen to you, even when you think I'm not listening. I'm trying like you asked me too and like I promised I would do."

Ginga sniffled and nodded. Ryuga wiped Ginga's tears then lightly gripped his chin again.

Ryuga fake pouted, "Can I have a kiss?"

And that's what finally brought a smile to Ginga's face. He giggled a little and nodded.

Ryuga got up on his knees and went in for it.

I tried not to look, but the kiss was _**hot**_.

Ryuga had his hands in Ginga's hair and his head slightly tilted back. He kissed him with so much passion and his tongue down Ginga's throat caused little squeaks and moans to slip out.

 _ **Shit.**_ I'm not into this type of shit, but watching these two would make just about _anyone_ question changing their view on it.

Ru softly snapped to get my attention, and when I finally pulled my eyes from the two making out Ru gave me that **_'REALLY'_** look.

I gave her the **_'YES REALLY!'_** look and she shook her head.

But _unfortunately_ the kiss only lasted a few moments longer before they broke apart and whispered "I love you" to each other.

And then Ru went and ruined their little sweet moment, " _Ehm!_...Um are you two finished _sucking_ each other's lips off the other's face? I mean _really_ , did you forget that we were sitting right here?"

Ryuga cut his eyes at Ru, "Really Hikaru? We're in our own house..."

"Yea but you have **guest**!"

I snorted, "Ru we are hardly guest. We're more like family than anything else. So don't try to pull that bullshit card. Plus, how would you feel if someone interrupted one of you and **_Argo's_** mushy moments? You're being rude Ru."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever. What goes on between me and my boyfriend-"

Ryuga cut her off, " _Speaking_ of boyfriend's..." He turned his attention to me, "I think I might have a guy perfect for you Ny."

My eyes grew wide, " _ **ME!?**_ "

Ryuga chuckled, "Yea _you_."

I shook my head, "Nah. I'm good. The last time you set me up with someone it turned out to be _the worst_ date of my entire life. No thanks. I'm good."

Ryuga turned around and sat on the floor with his back to Ginga and his attention on me. He laughed, "No. No. He's nothing like that. I've actually known him since I was in middle school. He's cool. Trust me."

Ru murmured under her breath while looking down at her phone like she said nothing, " _Anybody_ would be better than what you have now."

I snapped, " **Shut up** Ru!"

Ginga shrugged, "She's not lying Nile buddy. Why don't you just give the guy a chance? Maybe _talk_ a little, _text_ a little.."

Ryuga nodded, "Yea. Plus I don't really think he's looking for a relationship right now anyways. He just got out of a really... _interesting_ relationship. That's actually where I'm coming from. I promised him I'd come back."

Ginga grinned, "See you two could could be friends."

Ru smirked, "Yea you guys already have something in common. Something you can _**bond**_ over.."

 _That bitch!_

Ryuga held up his hand signaling for everyone to stop, "Wait! **_Wait_**! Nile and Chris _broke up_?!"

I gave Ru my best venomous glare and gritted my teeth, " _ **NO!**_ "

"Oh so you're-"

I snapped, " _ **NO!**_ Nothing _has_ or _is_ supposed to happen between me and Chris. We're **fine**. As far as your friend goes, I'm _not_ interested in a relationship, friendship or _whatever_ with him. I have enough on my plate as it is, the last thing I need is somebody else's **shit** piled on top."

Ginga visibly winced, "Ouch. Harsh much?"

Ru sighed irritably, "Your plate wouldn't be so full if you would just remove that big _**giant**_ piece of _**rotten molded meat**_ off of it..."

Ryuga chuckled and went to get up, "Ok I so didn't expect this conversation to go in this direction. I'm thinking that's my cue to leave and.." Ryuga got to his feet and turned around to give Ginga a peck on the lips, "Im sorry for causing any tension, that wasn't my intention whatsoever. I'll see you later Ginga baby."

Ginga whined while looking up into Ryuga's eyes, "Aww you can't stay just a _little_ longer?! _Please_?"

Ryuga leaned down and gave Ginga another peck on the lips. He shook his head once they pulled apart, "No I promised I'd be back once I was done. He's having a rough day so yea. We'll talk later baby."

Ginga pouted and that earned him one more kiss before Ryuga moved to the stairs. But he didn't go up them right away.

We all turned our attention to the stairs to see why and Ryuga looked right at me, "Y'know Ny, I don't think it's really that people _hate_ him as a person. I think it's that they hate the _relationship_. It must not bring out the best of you two, and if everyone feels the same way and sees the same thing, then that should be a red flag letting you know to pause or stop everything and _really_ think about it. Love is blind and the people who love you are trying to help you see what you're too blind to see. Don't push them away, be grateful you have that support, because not everyone does."

And with that he moved up a couple steps but then looked back at me once again, "Oh and just remember, you can **never** have too many friends, and _**no one**_ is perfect. Food for thought."

Ryuga then moved up the rest of the steps and hollered down once he got to the top, "Love you baby. I'll text you in a little while."

Ginga of course hollered back, "I love you too and okay."

We listened as the front door opened and closed signaling him leaving.

And as soon as he was through that door did two nasty glares fall onto me.

 _For fucks-sake! I can't catch a break today._

* * *

I ended up staying another two hours before I got a text from Chris asking me what we were doing for dinner. I took that as my cue to leave and told Ru and Ginga I'd text them when I got home.

When I got in my truck the first thing I did after starting the car was call Chris over the car Bluetooth.

He answered after two rings. I put my seatbelt on, put my truck in drive and took off onto the road.

"Hey Bae!"

 _He sounded like he was in a pretty good mood._

"Hey. How are you?"

"I'm good. _Great_ now that I've heard your voice."

I chuckled, "Oh here we go with the cheesy lines!"

He laughed, "You know you love it!"

I giggled, "Yea ok. I wouldn't go _that_ far."

He laughed harder, "Oh _harsh_ Bae! Harsh!"

I shook my head, a huge grin plastered on my face, "The truth hurts sometimes."

As soon as I said that I inwardly groaned. _How fucking ironic is it that I say that to him, when that's **all** my day has been based around._

Chris sighed after he finally stopped laughing, "Anyways. How're you? You feeling okay?"

 _No._

"Yea I'm good."

"Are you sure? I saw you taking your meds this morning and I knew where you were going. It's okay if you're not okay Bae..."

I sighed, "I'm _fine_ Chris..."

"Ok. You know I won't believe that until I get a good look at you and your eyes..."

"Yea I know...How was your day?"

He snorted, "Smooth subject change...My day was good. How about you?"

I shrugged as if he could see me, "Eh. It's was okay. _Long_."

He sighed, "Yea I figured. What do you want for dinner..."

"I don't know. But we need to make a decision quick because I'm not too far from my house and once I pull up to the house, I'm not going back out..."

"Well do you wanna sit down and eat? Do you want something quick? What're you feeling like?"

I thought about the mood I was in and I knew at least what type of food I was in the mood for. Although I know Chris isn't going to like it.

"I want something bad for me-"

He purred, " _Oh Really_?"

I cut him off, "Get your mind outta the gutter. You know what I meant. I want some _greasy_ , fattening fast food."

He groaned, "Really Bae?"

"That's the kind of mood I'm in. Now you know so you can pick it up. You know what I like. Surprise me. I'm pulling up into the driveway now..."

"Well how the hell are you gonna throw this back on me!?"

"Bye Chris! Oh and if you bring a **fucking** _subway sandwich_ in here, your ass **_will_** be sleeping on the couch. _I mean it_...Love you bye."

He sighed loudly, "Love you too. Bye."

I disconnected the call using the controls on my steering wheel, but just as I did Dy called.

I was genuinely surprised. He never actually picks up the phone to call, it's almost always texting with him.

"Hey Dy. You going for a record today?"

I could practically hear him furrow his brows just by the tone of his voice, "What?"

" _Calling_ instead of texting? You never call unless its about something like earlier, but even then most of the time its texting. You've called me twice today, I think you've broken your record."

He snorted, "Whatever. **Don't** get flattered or used to it."

 _Asshole._

I rolled my eyes and snorted, "Trust me, I'm not."

"Anyways, I was calling to let you know that the paps stopped Chris today. The video should be one of those entertainment shows. If you did what I told you, you should have no problem finding it."

I raised a brow.

 _He didn't mention the paps stopping him._

"Was it bad? Or did he do ok?"

"I'll let _you_ be the judge of that and you let me know how you feel."

I snorted, "He must've done something stupid because you hate Chris and you'd love to call him out on his shit, especially to me. I'm not for this shit right now Dy. I've had a long day and enough _Chris bashing_ to last me at least **six months**."

"Y'know you wouldn't have to endure _**"Chris Bashing"**_ as you call it, if you'd just listen. But whatever. I guess you just answered my next question, which was _how was your day_ and _how you were feeling_. It's pretty obvious, and I'm not in the mood for the negativity and funky ass attitude because I said something in attempt to _**help you**_. Sometimes you make it **_really hard_** for people to love and care about you Nile, especially when it comes to certain things. Anyways, we'll discuss everything else tomorrow. Make sure you have your phone with you, we might have a phone conference with Ryo tomorrow afternoon.-"

I cut him off, "Wait Dy-"

"I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

I didn't even get the chance to say bye before he hung up.

 _ **Ugh!** Now he's mad at me._

 _Fuck it! I'm over all of this **bullshit**!_

* * *

"Bae? What's wrong?"

Keeping my eyes on the tv as I took a bite of my burger, I sighed and shook my head, "Nothing..."

"Then why are you sitting on the floor and why won't you make eye contact with me? What's the matter bae?"

" _Nothing_ Chris. Just drop it."

"No. Don't shut me out."

"Nobody's shutting you out. I said it was nothing. So just drop it and **don't** ask me again. You're starting to irritate me."

Really it wasn't him. Well not _specifically_ the reason for my mood now.

All I could think about was everything everyone said to me today.

 _Especially_ Ryuga. He never usually speaks on things like this.

 _Then_ there was what Dy said about making it hard for people to love me...

 ** _Then_** there was D's comment and truth about my "fear" of being alone...

 _I know what needs to be done. I'm not blind. I'm not stupid. I know what's not healthy and what is._

 _But I also know that I love him and he loves me..._

But now I'm starting to think that our love isn't going to be enough. It's _not enough_ to overpower the truth anymore. It's _not enough_ to hide our ugly past anymore, because that ugly past is a **big part** of the overwhelming **_truth_**.

 _I'm stuck. I'm lost. I'm conflicted. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm hurt. I'm sad._

They say the truth hurts, that's true, but that's not the only emotion that comes with that hurt from the truth.

"Bae? _What's wrong_? Why're you crying?"

It took me a few seconds to blink and clear my blurry vision, and then to realize that Chris was on his knees staring into my eyes, his eyes full of worry and concern.

 _When had he gotten there? How long has he been sitting there? Worried..._

He was holding my face in both his hands, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs.

 _When did I start crying?..._

 _My body didn't shake, no sobs escaped my mouth, yet now that I was back to reality I could see my vision blur and feel the tears roll down my cheeks._

I stared into Chris's eyes, hoping, just hoping he could...I don't know...

He kissed my forehead and then gazed back into my eyes.

 ** _I love him._**

He pecked my lips.

 ** _I love him._**

He Stared back into my eyes.

 ** _I love him._**

He gave me a sad smile.

 _ **I love him.**_

 _But..._

The truth is this won't last. We both know that. Even with how we are right in this moment. This attentiveness, happiness and such, it won't last.

 _It never does._

He knows that.

 _I know that._

 **It's a never ending cycle.**

He whispered, "C'mon. Let's go to bed or at least lay down bae."

He took my half eaten burger out my hand placing it on the coffee table, stood up with both my hands in his and then pulled me to my feet.

He pulled me into a tight and warm hug, and I buried my face into his chest. My arms slowly found their way around waist and I inhaled his scent, hoping it would bring me comfort.

I barely registered the almost inaudible words coming from my mouth, "I'm sorry..."

He rubbed my back trying to comfort me, " _Shhh._ It's alright. It's _fine_. Everything is fine bae."

But I knew that wasn't the truth. Nothing would be fine once I did what needed to be done.

His statement alone brought on a whole other slew of thoughts, and at this point I just wanted to **stop** thinking.

 _I didn't want to **think** anything anymore._

 _I wanted to forget. Even if for only an hour._

I pulled back from his chest a little to look up into his eyes. Our eyes locked and he reached up and ran his fingers through my bangs, pushing them back out of my eyes.

My voice came out so quiet I could barely hear it myself, "Make me forget... _please_?"

 _I needed my brain, my thoughts, my emotions to just_ **stop**. _If only for just a moment._

 _I need a break from myself and reality. From the god awful truth. From the constant reminders._

 _I know I'm gonna regret this soon after, I know this'll be added onto my list of on going thoughts._

 _But...I_ **need** _him to make me forget..._

He was reading my eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong. I could tell he didn't like my statement or request by the way his eyebrows furrowed. It's not something I'd usually say, and I could see in his eyes that he desperately wanted to know what was making me want to shut down like that. To forget anything and everything.

I could see in his eyes and facial expression that he wanted to say no and was about to say it too. But I turned on my begging eyes and his expression completely changed.

His eyes searched mine for a few moments longer and then he let out a loud and reluctant sigh.

He kissed my forehead and murmured with his lips still lingering there, "What ever you want bae... _what ever you want_..."

And in that moment there was no fighting the tears that fell from my eyes, yet there was still no sound or other reaction from my body.

Just silent crying.

He kissed my forehead one more time, took hold of one of my hands and then we slowly made our way up to my bedroom.

* * *

My back arched and the darkness behind my eyelids went slightly white. I knew I was extremely close and _we haven't even gotten that far_.

One leg wrapped around his waist, the other thrown over his shoulder.

He ground down again, harder this time, while simultaneously biting down on my neck right behind my ear.

 ** _Fuck!_**

The moan that crawled up my throat came out loud and high pitched. I grabbed at his hair, slightly pulling it and that seemed to fuel him more.

He picked up the pace and the only thing I could do was let out a silent scream and fight to catch my breath.

I needed him to slow down just a little bit, but every time I _try_ to articulate that he does something that causes nothing but moans to come out when I go to part my lips to speak.

He kissed me hard and my leg wrapped tighter around his waist pulling him harder against me, and causing both of us to let out loud groan.

His hips never stopped moving, but he did move his lips to nibble at my ear and I took that moment to fight the shiver that ran down my spine and the moans that were building in tempo. I could use this as another opening.

I hate when he gets me to the point that I'm howling like a girl, but he says that's a sign that he's on the _right path_ and he's doing _something_ right. He also says that when I start cursing like a sailor non-stop, that that was a good sign too.

I yanked at his hair and his hips ground down extremely hard, paused for a second, then picked up the pace once again.

 _My opening was quickly closing._

The words came out choked and intertwined with the moans that I just couldn't fight no matter how hard I tried, "C-C-Chris... _ **SHIT**_!...Chris _slow_ d-d-down- _FOR THE LOVE OF_ - ** _FUCK!_**...slow down _p-please_! I'm g-gonna cum in my pants if you d-d-don't!"

He kissed me hard and then murmured against my lips, " _Not a chance_..."

He bit my neck again and I could feel the heat building.

 _For **fucks-sake**! I'm gonna get off on **dry humping**! In my **good** jeans!_

I groaned loudly just at the thought of it.

I could hear him snicker into my neck and gave him the best growl I could muster up at the moment, " _ **Fuck you**_ Chris!"

He sucked really hard on my neck and then murmured, "No I believe the plan was for _**me**_ to _**fuck you**_. That's how things usually go, but from the way I have you _howling_ right now I don't think you're gonna make it to that point."

I bit my lip because my vision was slowly turning white.

 _I was almost there._

He knew it too. He gripped my leg that was slung over his shoulder and broke into a neck breaking pace.

My back arched even more and the moans and profanities just flowed out like water running from a faucet.

I couldn't catch my breath. _He had me. He had me there..._

And then my phone rang.

His hips slowed for a millisecond and then he pushed on with even more force.

He bit my neck and growled, " _Ignore it!_ "

I groaned and gripped the sheets with one hand while pulling at his hair with another.

The phone stopped, but immediately rang again.

Chris growled again and gripped my leg even harder.

He was messing with me saying I wouldn't last, but I could tell he was close just by the sound of his breathing against my neck.

 _Who the fuck could be calling at a time like this!? Whoever it is, they have PERFECT fucking timing!_

The longer the phone rang the more it broke through my non-thinking pleasure haze.

 _He was doing what I asked him to do. Making me forget, but now this fucking phone was ruining it._

He could tell I was getting distracted. He breathed into my neck, " _C'mon bae_. Ignore it. **_Cum for me_**...Remember it's just _you_ and _me_ , block that out...You were almost there bae. C'mon. _C'mon_. _**Cum for me bae**_ , cum for me. _Let me hear you_."

That pulled me back in, but then the phone stopped and then rang again before stopping midway. That was followed by my notification sound for text messages, which sounded twice.

My haze cleared and Chris knew it.

He stopped and pulled back angrily with a loud growl.

I sighed and slightly rolled over to grab my phone off my nightstand.

There were _three_ missed calls from Ru, one text from Ru and one from Dy.

Since Ru tried to contact me so many times, and the obvious worry and fear that maybe something was wrong was eating at me, I decided to open her text first.

 **Ru:** _Ny I know you're probably stuck in your head right now. Depressed, angry, and your anxiety through the roof. But I just wanted to check on you. I wanted to let you know to remember that everything we say to you we say it out of love. It's not that we hate him. We only want what's best for you, and he's not it. I love you. We all love you. Please just remember that, and that we'd never do or say anything to hurt you intentionally. I know you're upset. I know. I know you feel stuck and lost. I know you're scared and worried. And I know you're tired of thinking, but please don't go do something out of anger, spite or desperation. Think first. Please. I love you and we'll talk tomorrow._

I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath.

 _She has no idea that she just stopped me from making a huge mistake._

 _She knows me well and I'm gonna have to be sure to thank her tomorrow._

The tears wouldn't stop falling but I moved to open Dy's text anyways.

 **Dy:** _The preparation for the search starts tomorrow. The official search is set to start Monday, Tuesday at the latest. We'll talk more about it tomorrow._

I sighed, locked my phone and placed it back on my nightstand.

The tears kept coming and I couldn't stop them. My thoughts were racing and I'm just _**tired**_ and **_fed up_**.

Chris stripped me as I laid there trying to control my tears. He slipped one of his button ups on me, changed his clothes and tucked me in.

He climbed into bed on top of the covers and sighed loudly while holding his arms out, "C'mere bae."

I scooted closer, but he pulled me tightly into his chest and kissed the top of me head. I hugged him back, roughly gripping the back of his shirt.

I cried myself to sleep while listening to his heartbeat.

* * *

 **Well what'd you think? What'd you think of the "lime"?**

 **It's my first PUBLISHED one so go easy, thanks!**

 **Next up the search begins!**

 **And get ready for some MAJOR feels next chapter. I even kinda choked myself up! XD**

 **(Next chapter update date will be posted on my bio)**

 **Favorite, Follow and most of all REVIEW! PLEASE!**

 **Thanks again for reading!**

 **SHOUT OUT: RainbowAbstract and QueenKhioneandFernis THANK YOU for the FAVS and FOLLOWS! It means the WORLD to me!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well _hello_ everyone...YES I have returned FINALLY with an update. I'm not going to sit here and bore you with my life drama and excuses. Just know the struggle is real. RL is a REAL thing and then on top of that writer's block doesn't help. But, as you see I have returned and I had planned on returning at some point before the year ended. Like I said on my profile, I'm NEVER one to abandon a story. NEVER. if I'm ever gone for and extended period of time(ie. a year), I'll always come back and there will ALWAYS be an update to when there will be a next post or explanation to the delay of a post on my profile. **

**So like I said I'm not going to bore you or hold you up with this author's note, maybe on the end A/N ;)**

 **FYI/ A FEW HEADS UP:**

 ***** _I don't know if I've ever clarified but as pronunciation_** _ **of the nicknames goes:**_

 **-Dy = _Dye/Die_**

 **- Ny = _it's Dye but with an "N" instead of a "D"_**

 **- Ry = _it's Dye with an "R" instead of a "D"_**

 **- D = _Dee_**

 **- Ru = _Rue/Rew_**

 **(if there's any names I missed, let me know)**

 ***** _Slightly overwhelming emotional chapter- THE FEELS ARE REAL_**

 ***** _No SMUT, LEMONS, LIMES or EXPLICIT YAOI this chapter(next chapter definitely though XD)_**

 _ *****STRONG Profanity (that hasn't changed...)**_

 ***** _There's a surprise POV switch towards the end_**

 **(get used to it, there will be more POV changes coming. Although this story's main character's and POV's will and has always been Nile and Kyoya)**

 **DISCLAIMER :**

 **I OWN NONE OF THE CHARACTERS, JUST THE PLOT..**

 **(If there are any errors, feel free to let me know, I edit my own work. BE NICE! THANKS!)**

 **Now on to the story! I hope you enjoy! Love ya!**

* * *

 **NILE'S POV**

By the time Monday rolled around, I was exhausted and seriously depressed. My anxiety was through the roof but controlled due to my meds somewhat helping.

Chris had been trying his best to distract me from everything, pull me from my head, and sometimes it honestly helped and then other times it was like why bother. Which was _most likely_ the depression talking.

Walking into this meeting that Dy scheduled before auditions, I put on my best facade living that saying _**'fake it till you make it'.**_

But anyone who knows me, I mean **REALLY** know me, will see right through it.

And walking into the room I could see three people who saw through it immediately when I greeted the entire room cheerfully.

The first to confront me on it was Ginga.

I took my seat at the head of the table at the end closest to the door. Ginga came and sat right on the corner of the table, staring at me with knowing eyes.

He folded his arms across his chest and spoke so only I could hear, "Let me see them."

I sighed and my fake smile fell slightly, "I didn't do anything. I swear."

"Then you won't have a problem showing me. So let me see. There's no need for a debate if there's nothing to show and you're being honest."

I sighed and pushed my sleeves up to my elbows, "See. Nothing."

I then quickly pulled them back down so no one saw what I had just did.

Thank God for the food table that Dy had set up in the room. It made my presence pretty much obsolete.

Ginga narrowed his eyes, "Lemme see your ankles."

We are _ **so** _ not doing this here.

I frowned and murmured, "Wrong place, wrong time Ginga."

"No it's not. It never **ever ** will be."

I groaned and spoke in a hushed tone, "Oh for fucksake. I'm past that point in my life Ginga, you know that. Don't you trust me?"

"It's really bad isn't it?"

I just stared at him.

He raised a brow, "Isn't it?"

I sighed, defeated, "Is it that noticeable?"

He shrugged, "Eh. I know you. I'm your best friend. Have been for years. I notice things nobody else would. I feel vibes nobody else would feel if they don't know you like I do."

I sighed, "Which means Kenta and D know it too."

He nodded, "Yep. Picked up on it as soon as you walked it. Actually Kenta apparently picked up on it when he called you this morning. He's definitely a keeper as your assistant. Me and Demure just looked at each other when you walked it. When we looked you over, it just confirmed it even more."

I sighed and put my forehead on the table, "I'm tired of crying like a little bitch..."

"I'm sorry..."

I looked up at Ginga and gave him a sad smile, "It's okay. I know you mean well. All of you. It's just...I don't know...a lot to handle."

"You're stressing too much. I saw this coming."

I groaned and put my head back on the table.

"Have you been eating?"

I shrugged and made no move to look up, "Chris has been making sure I do. He's also been trying to keep me outta my head as much as possible."

"Mhm I'm sure he has."

 _Ugh_. He sounds like Ru. I **hate** it.

I snapped my head up and frowned, "It's not like that. Trust me. He hasn't touched me since Saturday night, well like that anyway. And even then we didn't go far. The most I've gotten out of him is a kiss on top of the head or forehead and a few small kisses here and there."

Ginga raised a brow as if I was bullshitting.

"I swear Ginga. This morning was the first time he's tongue kissed me in two days, and it didn't even last that long. It wasn't sexual or anything like that. It was more for reassurance and comfort."

I could tell he still didn't believe me, but he dropped the topic.

He sighed, "I think you might need somebody to talk to. I mean if it's this bad now Nile, I can't imagine what you're gonna be like once you finally take that step."

I sat up and snorted, "I can tell you now, you might as well call and reserve a room for me. That's all I gotta say."

Ginga snickered, "Yea ok. But we can't reserve a room at those type of places if we don't have a specific date or at least a date range. Who knows when you're gonna do it-"

"Within the next week or two..." I said cutting him off, my voice low and eyes dropped to the floor. I hugged myself as if to protect or comfort myself.

Ginga's voice was just barely a whisper, "Really?"

He sounded like he was looking at me in disbelief and shock, wide eyes and all. Which since I know Ginga, I know he was doing just that.

That's why I couldn't meet his eyes.

I nodded in response to his question and my vision began to blur.

I quickly wiped the brimming tears, but still refused to look up.

Ginga's voice was still a whisper, but it wasn't from shock anymore, it was more for privacy, "When'd you decide this?"

I shrugged and roughly wiped at my eyes again, "My final decision was sometime last night." I glanced up at Ginga and pleaded with my eyes, "Can you **please** keep this between us? I'm not ready to tell anyone else. I wasn't gonna tell you but...yeah..."

Ginga gave me a look of surprise and then a sad smile, "Of course! You're my best friend. If you want this to stay between us, then it will. I promise."

I raised a brow.

He played clueless, "What?!"

I kept my brow raised and snorted, "You can't hold water to save your life Ginga."

He smirked, "I can't hold water for people _**I don't particularly like**_. And for that one incident a few years ago, that was an honest mistake and from the result of miscommunication. I can't believe you still won't let that go."

I looked at him in disbelief, "Ginga, you really fucked some shit up that time. I mean you almost _**ruined** _ someone's life!"

He giggled, "Oh c'mon! It wasn't that bad!"

I gave him the bullshit look.

He giggled again, "Whatever! I seem to remember the story happening a completely different way than you."

I snickered, "Of course you do! I'm _sure_."

He grinned, "Now that's a real smile."

Then it dawned on me what he'd just done.

He just pulled off what Chris had been attempting to do for the past few days. He pulled me out my head, made me smile and made me forget without me even realizing what he was doing.

I guess you can do that if you've been best friends for _fifty million years_.

I playfully shoved him and smiled, "You think you're so _slick_ don't you?...Thanks.."

He continued to grin, "No problem."

* * *

Dy came rushing in not too long after that.

I kid you not. He only glanced at me for half a second and saw right through me. I saw it written all over his face and I saw it in his eyes, but he hid it from everyone else flawlessly.

He stood at the other end of the table and addressed everyone in the room, who by that time had eaten and took a seat at the large table.

"Alright. So really quick. The tryouts start in fifteen minutes. The line is wrapped around the building and goes for about at least a mile. _**AT LEAST**_."

Oh _shit_.

My mouth went completely dry and I feel my eyes growing wide along with my heart-rate picking up tremendously. I quickly fixed my face so no one could see how much I was actually panicking.

Dy glanced at me concerned, and then continued.

"Everyone knows their place. You know this will probably be a **_very_** long process, and everyone's ears will most likely be ringing by midday break. I'm still on the fence about letting Nile play the set and then have the auditionees play it back, or play a Cd and they play along to it. Maybe even let them freestyle. But the only major problem with freestyle is that that can cause us all some serious headaches before we get through just the first hour and maybe result in the demise of this whole thing. I'll let you guys know once we get setup and get everyone where they need to be. Remember to have patience, these are mostly Nile's fans, so be careful what you say or do. You saying one wrong thing could ruin his career and success as we know it."

I groaned softly.

He's making my anxiety worse.

Dy clapped his hands loudly, scaring me out of my thoughts, "ALRIGHT! Let's go! Let's get this show on the road."

Me and Dy's eyes met while everyone else scurried to grab their things and rush to the audition room.

Once everyone was gone I got up and he approached me with " _ **that**_ " look on his face. I sighed loudly and we slowly made our way out of the room together.

"Ny you look like shit. I don't mean to sound cold or heartless, but I need you to pull yourself together and get your shit together before we get to the audition room door. Right now we don't have time for this. Today is not the day for this."

He sounded a little cold, but I know he means well.

I shrugged with my hands in my pockets as we continued to walk, "I know. I'm trying Dy. I'm trying."

He put his hand on my shoulder making us stop in the middle of the hall and causing our eyes to meet, "I can see that. Just remember who you do this for. That should help pull you through the day, or half at least. And don't worry, we'll talk later."

I snorted and rolled my eyes, "Oh _**trust** _ me I know."

He playfully hit the back of my head, snickering. We then continued on to our destination.

* * *

The auditions started at exactly nine in the morning.

I sat in the middle of our "Panel". So the order of the panel went-Ryuga, Tsubasa, Kenta, Me, Dy, Bao, Ginga and then Demure(D). Tithi, Dy's assistant stood behind us during the auditions and was the person behind the camera recording everything. Aguma and Argo stood in the room, intensely watching over everything and scanning over everyone.

Dy is of course running everything, but Tithi was doing all the labor. Meaning signing people in, getting all the info that would be needed from them and bringing them to us.

So the audition process was broken down into checkpoints before actually getting in front of the panel to actually perform. This was done for organization and security reasons.

The **first** checkpoint was actually security through the city's policemen that Dy hired for the day. If the person auditioning didn't pass through the security check and scan, then they would be immediately escorted off the premises.

Yuki, which is usually my stage director, he was running the **second** checkpoint for everyone auditioning. He was responsible for getting names and some other specific info Dy demanded. He also collected their signatures on certain forms and agreements that Dy and Bao came up with. The simple info collected consisted of small and normal things like names, contact info, where they were from, and a brief description of their history in music. He would do this for ten people at a time and then past the list on to Tithi.

Tithi was the **third** checkpoint. Tithi would go down the list and type up what came from Yuki, before calling each person to an individual " _interview_ " to collect the rest of the information requested by Dy along with taking their photo to go with their information and file. The information collected at this checkpoint was more in depth compared to the stuff Yuki collected, and usually turned out to be the warnings and interesting notes we would need to be mindful of.

More forms and contracts would have to be signed at this checkpoint too.

Tithi then would come in, and all of the panel would be given info on each person on paper and via email. Aguma and Argo would alternate between who would escort the person auditioning into the room and out of the room.

Tithi recorded _**all**_ auditions.

Dynamis allowed us all to ask questions, especially about whatever Yuki and Tithi may have marked or noted by the person's name and photo.

Dy went with a mixture of auditioning techniques that he had mentioned in the meeting. This was to keep the auditions unique and interesting. This was also so no one could expect to do the same thing as someone else, and think they can get over on us or lie because they have been warned by other people who've already auditioned.

But unfortunately you can't control or prevent everything and so we've had our fair share of liars today, and we haven't even hit midday break.

Actually there's a liar who's being called out by Dy right now.

* * *

( ** _In the audition room_** )

I glanced to my left at Dy to see that he had on his " **No bullshit** " face.

The guy in front of us was an interesting character to say the least. He had on black jeans and a netted shirt with the nipples cutout. His left arm was tattooed from shoulder to wrist, and he had about five gazillion piercings.

I could tell by how cocky he spoke and walked in, that this dude was full of shit.

A pathological liar.

I don't usually judge people, but this couldn't be helped. It was just like some kind of sixth sense in this case.

But what's getting to me the most at this point is the fact that this guy has the **audacity** to stand here and go toe to toe with Dy after being called out on his bullshit.

He has no idea who he's fucking with. Dy can be **ruthless**.

I can tell he's trying to keep his cool and stay professional for my sake and my reputation, but I can also clearly see and feel he's right on the edge. This guy has no idea what he's about to release.

I peer to my left at Dy to see that warning twitch above his brow and the gleam in his eye and then that's when his voice turned to venom, low and dangerous. He gives the guy a manic smile and cuts him off, "Well this audition is _**officially**_ over, it has been for some time now. _**Thanks** again for coming_. **Now Leave**." The guy goes to say something back and Dy cuts this glare that made the room suddenly turn cold to guy and then to Aguma and Argo, " _ **REMOVE HIM! NOW**_!"

Aguma and Argo step up behind the guy in a millisecond, and that's all it takes for the guy to shut up and turn to leave. Aguma and Argo escort him all the way out of the room and I'm guessing all the way to the exit since they didn't immediately come back.

The room is cold and silent while we wait for them to return. _Nobody_ moved or made a sound.

It wasn't until about five minutes later when Aguma and Argo returned did Dy go off.

He gave a slight nod towards the center of the room, and that's where they moved to stand, their hands clasped behind their backs and eyes locked with Dy's.

He stood up and put both hands on the table slightly leaning forward, narrowing his eyes at Aguma and Argo, " _ **THAT** _ should've **NEVER** went on for as long as it did." He lifted his hand jabbing his pointer finger at the two of them , "If I _**EVER**_ have to remind **YOU** to do _**YOUR** _ fucking job _**EVER**_ again...THATS **YOUR ASS**! DO I MAKE MYSELF _FUCKING_ CLEAR!?"

They both gave a slight nod and answered in unison, "Crystal!"

Dy then snatched up his phone and papers and stormed off towards the door, "We're going on fucking break!"

Tithi scurried from behind the camera, moving to catch up to Dy, "But Dynamis we can-"

Dy stopped and spun on the heel of his foot, freezing Tithi and giving him that venom glare, snarling, " _We're taking a fucking break_! IM _**NOT** _ GONNA SAY IT AGAIN. _**DEAL WITH IT**_!"

Dy then turned that glare on to the rest of us jabbing his pointer finger at us, "An _hour_! Not an _hour and five minutes_! Not an _hour and three minutes_! _**ONE HOUR**_! _Don't_ have your asses back in this room in an hour and _see what happens!_ "

And then he was gone, the entire room wincing at the door slamming behind him.

* * *

So because all this fighting was just doing _WONDERS_ for my anxiety I decided to go to the studio in the building to work on some of my new music.

Plus, I heard my producer was here for some odd reason.

But halfway to the studio I realized I didn't have my book that I write all my lyrics in with me.

 _That's how I know I'm not in my right mind._

I always have my book with me. ALWAYS.

Call me old fashioned or superstitious, but I prefer to write my lyrics when they come to me, rather than typing them first.

The book is just big enough to fit in my pocket with my phone and isn't usually far from my phone which is another reason why I'm surprised I don't have it.

 _I need to get myself together._

Realizing there was no point now in going to the studio, I turned back around and made my way back to the audition room.

Just as I was about to open the door to the audition room, my text message notification sounded.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and saw it was a text message from D…

 **D** : _Hey where are you?_

I smile to myself and shake my head. I already know why he's asking me this.

 _Outside the audition room. I was gonna go to the studio room but I forgot my lyrics book..._

 **D** : _Really? Well are you about to do anything else? Or were you just gonna sit in the audition room until our hour was up?_

 _I was just gonna sit in the room and wait till time passed. I think Ginga and Ryuga are still in there, so I wouldn't be alone…_

 **D** : _Meet me in the conference room we were in earlier this morning. We need to talk…_

I knew it. I saw this coming since early this morning when I walked into the audition room.

I know there's no need in fighting this, because this was inevitable and he's not gonna let me squirm my way out of it.

 _Ok I'll be there in 5…_

 **D** : _Ok I'll be waiting…_

When I walked into the conference room D was already in there, and by the look on his face I could tell this was gonna be a _rough_ talk.

My first instinct was to hightail it the hell out of there because emotionally I don't think I could handle another " _ **talk**_ ", but again there was no escaping this and so I automatically closed the door behind myself when I stepped into the room.

I took my seat I was in earlier since D was sitting on the corner of the table just like Ginga was earlier.

At first we just looked at each other, well I looked at him but I know he was really looking me over and debating on how he was gonna approach the subject delicately.

I know D. That's just the way he is.

He's brutally honest, but its never rash and or on impulse. It's always thought through and my feelings are always taken into consideration to a certain extent.

But from the look on his face today, I know I'm about to get my ass chewed out, _feelings being damned_.

He broke the silence after what seemed like forever, sighing and looking me straight in the eyes, "Ny you look like shit…"

My eyes dropped to the table and I could barely hear myself reply, "I know…"

"Well if you _**know**_ this, then why do you keep putting yourself through this shit!? **Why** the hell do you keep doing this to yourself Ny!? Huh!? _Why!?"_

I winced at him raising his voice. He was angry and I haven't seen him this angry and fed up since…

 _Ugh I can't even bring myself to even go there right now…_

It's too heavy, too dark, and _way_ too painful…

I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes and see the worry, hurt and most of all the disappointment.

D has always been on my team, _always_ been rooting for me, _always_ on my side and I've never wanted to disappoint him.

D, Ru and Ginga are and have _always_ been the true definition of what a true best friend was and is.

But they all have a different type of way of being a best friend.

Like none of our relationships were the same.

My relationship with Ginga wasn't the same as my relationship Ru, nor was either of their relationships the same as what I had with D.

They're all different and yet all the same…

But to know I'm to that point of disappointment _once again_ for any of them, I don't think I can handle that on top of everything else.

That's why it was hard for me to deal with Ru on Saturday when she looked at me disappointed that I had slept with Chris once again.

I could feel the tears coming, my vision already slightly blurring, " _I don't know!_ I don't D! I know I love him-"

I could feel the irritation brewing off of him, "What did I tell you about that? I don't want to hear that love **bullshit**. I don't Ny, I don't want this life for you. Let it be love or not, it's _not healthy_ and you _damn_ sure aren't happy. Do you realize how bad you look? _Do you_?"

The tears began to fall once again and all I could do was shake my head, still not brave enough to face him, to look him in the eyes.

"Let me see your wrists Ny…"

I swung my head up, not thinking, tears steadily falling, "D I didn't do anything! _**I swear**_ I didn't D, I swear!"

His voice was so serious and his face said no nonsense, but the statement and request alone was enough to hit a nerve and make me forget that I couldn't and wasn't ready to face him.

And then I looked in his eyes and was reminded of it all.

The _hurt_ , _anger_ and _disappointment_ was all there, just like I knew it would be.

"If you didn't do anything then you shouldn't have a problem showing them to me. So let me see them Ny, your ankles too…"

I pleaded with my eyes as the tears fell faster, "D!"

His face was so stern, but the look in his eyes was killing me.

Ginga's was just as bad earlier, but I held it together, and I have no idea how I did.

I could tell D wasn't gonna let this go.

An actual sob slipped out as I snatched the sleeves of my shirt up, " _ **See**_! There's nothing there! _Just like I said_! Ginga checked me earlier, I don't know why you guys won't believe me when I say I didn't do anything-"

D cut me off with a look of utter disbelief, "What the **fuck** Ny!? Have you actually seen yourself? Have you looked in a _**goddamn** _ mirror lately?! You look almost as pathetic as-"

" **NO**! Don't you say it! I'm not there yet D and you know it! I'm not _that_ low yet, and I would _never_ put myself in a situation like that again to get me to that place! _I'm trying D_! I **really** am and Chris is actually trying to help me even though I won't even tell him what's wrong. He's been there and supportive and it's making _everything_ even harder!"

D sighed, "Ny did you forget how you got to that low place before in the first place? Ny you're falling apart at the seams, and this is **the worst** time for this. You got big things coming up. _Big fucking accomplishments_. You can't afford to fall apart now! We're all trying to help you, trying our damnest to be supportive and you keep fighting it. You're blind to how wrong all of this is, how _mentally unhealthy_ this is for you. You can't keep going on like this Ny. You can't."

I broke.

I slammed my forehead down on the table, and _**I broke**_.

Crying like the little bitch I felt like.

Crying my heart out.

 _Sobbing_.

I heard D sigh and then there was a hand gently rubbing my back, "It's gonna be alright Ny. Trust me. Don't I always tell you the truth?"

All I could do was give him a slight nod with my forehead against the table.

"Right. And you know what, a few months from now you're gonna look back at this moment after you've done it, because it's gonna be done period… But _anyways,_ you're either gonna be laughing at yourself or be sick with yourself for letting yourself get to this point. For sitting here crying like this. You're probably gonna have someone else by then."

I whimpered, knowing I sound pathetic, " _No I won't_.."

The hand that was rubbing my back stopped, and then I was plucked in the back of the head.

I snapped up to look at D in disbelief..

But when our eyes met he gave me a gentle smile, "Stop it. You sound like a pathetic **hormonal** girl."

I sniffled while wiping my eyes and couldn't help but to giggle, "Shut up. I already know and I'm tired of crying like a little bitch."

D snorted and smirked, "You said it. _Not_ me."

I couldn't help but to laugh a little, "I hate you. I'm serious though D. I **_hate_ ** feeling like this, crying like this, it's just every time I think about what needs to be done, it just shoots my anxiety through the roof and breaks my heart at the same time. Chris has been perfect-"

D cut me off snorting, "I'm sure he's been _just_ peachy Ny-"

I growled, slightly irritated, " _Stop that_! He really has D. He's been by my side since Saturday, making sure I eat. Trying to keep me out of my head and keep me from shutting down. He hasn't touched me, he's just held me and kissed my head trying to make me feel better from whatever it is I won't tell him. If he knew he was the root to all of this he'd be crushed."

"He deserves to be crushed. He deserves a lot of things Ny-"

"D! **Stop**!"

"Ny _you_ stop! Stop all of this. You're getting _**too** _ attached. Do you hear yourself?"

"But D-"

He cut me off glancing at his watch before speaking in a stern tone, " _ **No Ny**_! This is the last thing I'm gonna say and then we need to head back… _Get your shit together Ny_. I don't want to see you like this tomorrow. No more excuses. You know what you need to do, **period**. No more fucking excuses. There's no way around it. Do it so you can get over all of this and begin working on yourself again, getting back to rarely needing your anxiety meds. Because _who knows_ how long it's been since you were in that good of a space, but when you were in that space you were **genuinely** happy. _Get your shit together Ny_. I'm _**not** _ gonna say it again and we're _**not** _ gonna have this talk again. **_This is it_**. I  mean it."

I just nodded solemnly and roughly wiped at the few tears that fell as he was talking.

That was it and I knew it.

That's two down and now there's two more to go.

 _I'm an emotional fucking wreck and I can't even fathom how I'm going to get through those two._

After D gave me a long and warm bear hug, I went and splashed some cold water on my face and then redid my eyeliner before we headed back to the audition room together.

We were five minutes early and when I got in there everyone was back except Dy and Tithi.

Poor Tithi, I hope Dy wasn't giving him a hard way to go.

He tries his hardest with that maniac of a manager, and honestly I have no idea how he deals with his nonsense and bitchiness everyday all day.

But don't get me wrong, Tithi knows how to handle Dy too. He stands his ground and he doesn't let Dy walk all over him.

Actually he puts Dy in his place quite often when he gets to be **really** bad.

Those moments are _always_ hilarious.

And I wouldn't put it pass him to have put him in his place for screaming at him like he did earlier.

Tithi may be sweet, but he's a spitfire.

Perfect for Dy.

I looked up at the clock on the wall, surprised to see Dy _STILL_ wasn't here yet.

 _Something must've happened._

I pulled out my phone and the time literally switched to one minute before the time we were due back.

I was just about to text Dy when Chris's name popped up on my screen as an incoming Factime call.

My heart literally dropped to the bottom of my stomach.

I don't know if I can face him right now, but I know if I don't answer that'll make him panic.

 _Especially with the mood and mindset that I've been in._

But on the other hand if I answer this, and Dy comes in and sees me on the phone, let alone on the phone with _Chris_ , he'll blow another fucking gasket.

 ** _UGH!_**

Internally debating this was giving me a headache and the longer I let the phone ring the more Chris is gonna call, text and panic.

So I quickly slipped my headphones in and swiped the screen to answer the call.

* * *

As soon as it connected, Chris smiled brightly at me.

And my heart broke even more… _if that's even possible_.

I gave him a sad smile and spoke softly, "Hey…"

His brows furrowed, "Hey Bae. How are you feeling? What's wrong? You look like you've been crying, are you okay?"

I sighed, "I'm fine Chris…"

And at the mention of that name, I could just feel D and Ginga burning holes into me from either staring or **_glaring_ ** too hard.

It took all I had not to glance at them and plead my case.

Chris shook his head, "Bae you're not okay. What's going on? Why have you been crying again? Do I need to come get you?"

I gave him another sad smile, "I'm fine Chris. Really. And you know if you were to do that it would cause a shit ton of drama and that's the last thing I need…"

He sighed, the worried look never changing on his face, "Yea I know, but you don't look good. I'm really worried about you."

I could feel the tears coming. I need to change the subject fast before I break down again.

 _I can't do this._

"Hey I'm fine love. But, I can't talk for long, Dy is due back at any moment and things aren't going well at the moment so he's not in the best mood…. _to put it lightly_. Did you need something, or were you just calling to check in?"

It was Chris's turn to smile sadly, "No I didn't need anything bae. Just checking in. Did you eat? I want to bring you something or order something and have it delivered for you…"

"I haven't eaten yet, not really hungry. But if you must feed me, order something. **Don't** bring it. Do you know how much chaos your presence would cause? The line is wrapped around the building and then goes on for a mile."

He sighed and looked up at something before turning his attention back to me, "Okay bae. I really wanted to see you, but I get it. What time is your lunch break?"

"I think like twelve-thirty, one o'clock."

"Okay I'll have it delivered there by twelve-fifteen, twelve-thirty at the latest. _**Please** _ eat it."

I chuckled, "Oh don't worry love, between Ginga and D _and_ Dy, they'll make sure I eat. Even if they have to shove it down my throat themselves."

He frowned and his brows furrowed hard, "That's not funny bae. I don't like the idea of them doing that, and I definetly don't like the idea of you not eating and it having to get to that point."

I sighed, smiled softly and shook my head, "Chris love it was a **_joke_**."

"Well bae I'm not in that headspace right now. I didn't know. I'm just in that space of worry. Worrying about you."

"Well Chris I said I'm fine so stop worrying. It's not like I'm by myself. I'm _fine_ Chris."

He sighed, "Ok. Well I'm gonna let you go. Have them look out for the food around the time I told you. I'll let it be a surprise to what I'm ordering. You'll have to wait and see, I'm not telling you."

I smiled softly, "Ok. I'll call you on my next break. I gotta go."

He smiled at me, "Please don't forget, and okay love I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"Ditto…"

He smirked and shook his head before hanging up.

* * *

Just as the call ended Dy walked through the door.

I quickly wrapped my headphones around my phone and stuffed my phone back in my pocket.

Dy still looked irritated, but only _slightly_ irritated.

He said nothing to us when he came in, only giving us a glance before turning his full attention back to his phone.

He was so deeply immersed, that he didn't even notice when Tithi came in like a windstorm brushing past him.

Which proves my theory that something _must've_ happened on our little impromptu break.

"Hey did you guys hear that Dark Nebula's drummer quit today?', Dy asked with his eyes still glued to the phone and his brows deeply furrowed.

Ryuga let out this bark of laughter, and everyone turned their attention to him, waiting for an explanation for his sudden outburst.

He grinned cheekily, "That son of a bitch **actually** did it!"

Ginga raised a brow, "Ry what are you talking about?"

Ryuga continued to grin, turning his attention to Ginga, "Ginga baby, that's Kyoya. Middle school and High school."

Ginga looked surprised for a minute, but he didn't even get the chance to say anything because Dy beat him to his reply.

"Wait a minute. You're telling me you knew the drummer for Dark Nebula was gonna quit _**and** _ you personally know him _**AND** _ you didn't say _anything_ to me!"

Ryuga smirked, "Well he said he was gonna do it, but I didn't really think he would considering his circumstances and what he's going through right now. But I have to say I'm proud of that asshole. Although I _am_ gonna kick his ass for not telling me today…"

Dy closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out an exasperated sigh, "Ryuga do you _realize_ this could've been an easy hire and could _**possibly** _ solve a lot of fucking issues we have right now. We wouldn't even be having these damn auditions today if you had told me this **_VERY VALUABLE_** information…"

Ryuga snickered, "Well I can tell you right now it wouldn't have been an easy hire. I mean there's some _serious_ and deep reasons to why he quit in the first place. I don't think he wants to do drumming anymore or is even looking for a job right at the moment. I mean I can always ask. But don't hold your breath and don't do away with the auditions, because I'm _**ninety-nine percent**_ sure he's gonna say no…"

Dy glared at Ryuga, " _ **Don't** _ tell me how to do my fucking job. And it's your job to put the little bug in his ear for the possibility of " _ **new**_ " jobs as his friend, or whatever you are to him. This could be good for _all_ of us Ryuga. _Handle your shit."_

Ryuga furrowed his brows, clearly getting irritated, "I'm not gonna sell him to the _**fucking wolves**_ , and I damn sure am _**not** _ going to him like a _fucking_ sale's person. _Like I said,_ I'll ask him and see what he says, but I'm telling you he's gonna say no. If you want him _that bad_ , then _**you** _ chase him and do what needs to be done. But don't cancel these auditions, you need them. Trust me when I say I _know_ his circumstances, and because of those I'm pretty sure of what his answer will be. So nobody is trying to tell you how to do your fucking job, I just know him more and know his reasons and circumstances. _Don't get your panties in a fucking twist_ , it ain't worth it."

I could tell by the look on Dy's face that Ryuga had just crossed the line, _**big time,** _ but Dy was trying desperately to keep his calm.

But truthfully he was failing _miserably_.

Dy was steaming, "You _**are** _ telling me how to do my _fucking_ job and you're _walking on thin fucking ice_. How many _fucking times_ do I have to tell all of you that **I RUN THIS SHIT**? If I fucking tell you to do something, **_you fucking do it_**. It's part of your motherfucking job. I know what the fuck I'm doing. If I didn't, do you _honestly_ think any of you would still have a fucking job? Would Ny be one of the **top** Pop artist around the fucking world? Do you _honestly_ and _truthfully_ think we would be leaving to going on a fucking world tour for the first time in a week and a half? _**NO**_! So do what you're _fucking_ supposed to do! _**Period**_. _I don't want to hear anymore about it from you today_. You're apart of this team and on this team we fucking look out for each other, and if you can't do that then you don't need to be on it and you can be _removed_ and _replaced_ just like Rago."

That comment was harsh and uncalled for.

Just as I was about to say something to Dy about being unnecessarily harsh, Tithi cut in, "Um Dynamis, we need to get these auditions back on track. Time is ticking and you still need to let everyone know what happened during the break."

Everyone looked to Dy curiously, waiting for an explanation on what the hell Tithi was talking about.

Dy closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose sighing loudly.

 _This can't be good._

We all sat waiting anxiously for a few moments longer before Dy finally opened his eyes and gave us his full attention.

Back in manager mode, Dy spoke with a hint of irritation in his voice, "So during break there were a _few_ security breaches, and then some altercations that resulted in a few arrests. One of the security breaches happened to be _our little trouble maker_ we had before break. I think he may be a little obsessed with Ny. He wasn't arrested, but he _**is** _ on the security list for not entering, and if this obsession and slight stalking continues then we'll have to get a restraining order and put Ny on full time body guard coverage."

 _Oh hell NO!_

"Dy I'm not _fucking_ doing that!"

"Ny you don't have a fucking choice in the matter. We don't know if this little manipulative asshole is dangerous or not!"

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe he's just a _loyal fan_! He wasn't that old Dy! That was probably his friends that got caught with him with the other security breaches. Hell, he could've done all of that _just to fuck with you_ as payback for humiliating him like that in front of everyone including myself-Who I _**guarantee** _ he was really here to see!"

Dy's glare turned fierce, "Ny like I said _**you don't have a fucking say in the matter** _ and if you want to give me a hard time, I'll tell that little _bullshit_ boyfriend of yours! I'm one hundred percent sure he's going to agree. He's _all_ for protecting you."

"I'M **NOT** FUCKING DOING IT!"

" _You do what I fucking say when I say it_. I don't give a _**FUCK** _ about if you want to do it or not! You'd think you would want your fucking life protected-

"I want to have a fucking _**normal life** _ away from this shit when I'm not working. I'm not doing this. I need some type of fucking _free_ and _me_ time! For fucks-sake I have enough _**BULLSHIT** _ to deal with right now! I don't need worrying about when I can leave my fucking house when I want to without a _goddamn escort_!"

Dy growled and jabbed his pointer finger at me, "People would fucking _kill_ for that kind of protection Ny! Don't take what you have available for granted Ny, it can all be gone in a matter of minutes, _EVEN_ seconds! So you know what, if it comes to that then _it's being fucking_ _done_ no matter how much you object, and I _**don't** _ want to hear shit else about this anymore. My decision is fucking final! _**THAT'S IT**_! **PERIOD**! So _shut your fucking mouth_ , you're already on my shit list, don't make matters worse for yourself!"

I was just about to say something back when I felt a light poke to my side.

I knew it was D trying to calm me down, but Dy is out of line.

 _Manager or **not.**_

D could tell I was about to ignore him and just jump head first into this argument with Dy, so he cut me off speaking up and being the mediator he's always been, "Look Dynamis this isn't the time and place to go all in arguing with Ny. We have **too** **much** going on today. You and I both know Ny _will_ fight you on that decision until his _dying breath_. So why waste that time sitting here arguing while we could be moving on to the next auditionee and _then_ on lunch you could discuss with Ryo on how you could maybe get an interview with Kyoya. I mean that's a _start_ right. Arguing is that last thing Nile needs right now, you and I and everyone who knows him knows that..."

I know Dy and, I know he knew D was right, but he hates being told what to do. That's a pet peeve of his.

But he can **never** deny when D is being the peacemaker and mediator because like I said before, _**ninety nine percent**_ of the time D **is** right.

I heard Ryuga sigh loudly and we all turned our attention to him.

He rolled his eyes, "Look if it'll keep the peace for the remainder of the day and help Ny out with his stress I'll text Kyoya during lunch and get a feel on what he thinks about _possibly_ moving on to a new project and joining the band. I mean I **_know_ ** he's going to say no, but for Nile and Ginga I'll ask.."

Ginga leaned over and kissed Ryuga on the cheek, "Aw thank you Ry. You're so sweet!"

Ryuga grunted and quickly stole a peck from Ginga's lips.

I caught an eye roll from Dy but he sighed, still clearly irritated but folding for the fact that everyone was trying to diffuse the situation, "Alright whatever. Let's get these damn auditions over with. But just know Ny, this discussion isn't over. Plus we have some other shit to talk about like I said earlier, you're still on my fucking shit list, so I suggest you stay on your _best_ fucking behavior-"

Tithi growled, " **DYNAMIS**!"

"Okay! _Whatever_! Chill out you little **demon** midget."

I saw the look on Tithi's face and just shook my head.

Dy will never learn…

* * *

 _ **(A FEW HOURS LATER)**_

Lunch break, twelve-thirty rolled around really quick after that, and that maybe could be because everything this time around went much more smoothly.

Aguma and Argo were on top of everything.

I mean _EVERYTHING_.

It was like _one_ wrong move and people were being carted out of the room in the blink of an eye.

Dy didn't even have to _bat_ an eyelash to get them to do anything.

As a matter of fact he's sitting next to me with this smug smirk on his face as this current auditonee's time is cut short and is now currently being escorted out by _**both** _ Aguma and Argo.

As the door shut behind them, I looked over at Dy and he gave me this mischievous grin.

I think its fair to say he's currently quite happy with himself and how things have progressed with security since his little _**tantrum** _ earlier.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head in response.

I glanced over at the clock on the wall above the door and the clock literally struck twelve-thirty on the dot.

It was _officially_ lunch time.

And at twelve-thirty one Aguma and Argo came through the door, Argo's brows slightly furrowed as he addressed the room, "Did someone order lunch or have a lunch delivery scheduled. I mean the guy is down stairs but he's not getting through until we clear it up here."

I softly swore under my breath, causing all attention to be directed to me.

I completely forgot about the food Chris had ordered.

I was so immersed in the auditions this second time around that food was the **_last_ ** thing on my mind.

I smiled sheepishly and looked over at Dy whom was looking at me with one eyebroe raised and his arms folded across his chest, "Um sorry Dy….I _totally_ forgot Chris ordered lunch for me. I have no idea what he ordered, but he did say it would be here around twelve-fifteen, twelve-thirty."

Dy grimaced and then rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I guess you all can be dismissed for lunch-"

Argo spoke up before Dy could finish his sentence and anybody could begin to move, "Uh Nile I don't think he ordered lunch for just you. I mean the guy has _**atleast** _ fifteen bags with him _**AND** _ two large aluminum trays."

I furrowed my brows.

 _Wait what?_

Just as I was about to respond my phone vibrated.

I quickly pulled it out of my pocket to see that the notification was a text from Chris.

 **Chris3** : _Surprised?_

I snorted and shook my head looking back up at Argo, "You can send him up. _Apparently_ it wasn't just lunch for me."

Aguma gave me a short nod before looking over at Dy for approval, who was currently still looking at me with the raised eyebrow and folded arms.

Our eyes met, and I simply shrugged.

I _**truly** _ had no answer or explanation for the situation.

Dy rolled his eyes and shook his head.

I looked back over at Argo just in time to see him give Aguma the same short nod he gave me and then Aguma quickly left the room to retrieve the delivery man.

As soon as Aguma left the room and Argo took his post back at the door, Dy turned his attention back to me eyebrow still raised, "So you know _absolutely_ nothing about this?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "No Dy I don't. I talked to him about two hours ago just before you came into the room from the **_impromptu_ ** break you called. He was worried about me and said he was going to order me some lunch to make sure I eat. I didn't know he was going to order for the _whole damn team_. _**Besides**_ , what's the problem anyway? You all get to eat for free. You should be saying _'tell him we all said thank you_ ', **NOT** grilling me about why he actually ordered the food."

Dy snorted and shook his head, turning his attention to his phone on the desk in front of him, "So we've known you for _how long_ Ny? We've been making sure you're taken care of, including making sure you eat even when you don't want to for how _long_ now? I've been your **manager** for _how many_ years now. Demure and Ginga have been your best friends for _how many_ years now? I _**think** _ we have it covered when comes to making sure you eat. Who's he trying to impress?..." He glances up at me with a stern no non-sense look on his face, "Or better yet _**what's** _ he trying to _cover up_ or _make up_ for-?"

I cut him off growling, " _ **NOTHING**_! **WHY** does _everyone_ think he's done something to me-!?"

Dy snapped, "Because he's done so much to you already _**NILE**_!"

"Why cant he just do something out of the _kindness_ of his heart without being questioned for it? Or better yet, his motive for doing something being questioned? _**Why**_!? It's **not** fair-"

Dy growled, "No what's _not fair_ is the **shit** he's done to you and the shit he's doing to you _emotionally_ and _mentally_ now! He's no fucking _**angel** _ Ny! **Never** has been! His-"

I cut him off, officially pissed off now, "I'm **not** doing this with you right now Dy! _**I'M NOT**_! Not in front of everyone! Him taking the time to order lunch for _everyone_ has nothing to do with the other **shit** going on my life right now! And this is not the _**TIME** _ or _**PLACE** _ for this conversation. Or should I say fucking _**scolding**_!" I snatched my phone off the desk and stood up glaring venomously at Dy, "Just learn to say thank you sometimes and stop being a _fucking_ **_asshole_ ** about **_EVERY_ _FUCKING_ _THING_**! It's **FUCKING** lunch, _nothing more_! Stop trying to pull shit from thin fucking air! I'm over this _conversation_ and **YOU**!"

Just as I moved to storm out the room and Dy stood up to no doubt scream at me and stop me from leaving, Aguma returned with the delivery guy. For a moment, I actually felt bad for the guy walking into such a _shit storm_ and a room so damn tense you could barely breathe because the tension was so fucking thick it was suffocating.

But then I glanced at the name on the bag the delivery guy had and literally in that moment all the anger and tension drained from my body and my heart melted almost instantly.

He got food from one of one of my _**all-time**_ favorite places with, and knowing him, my _**all-time** _ favorite foods was in one of those bags made specifically for me.

 _I could almost cry._

My eyes watered as if I was going to.

But I _**wasn't** _ going to let anyone else see me cry today.

Ginga cheered from his seat eyeballing the bags the delivery guy was holding and pretty much salivating all over the table in front of him at the thought of what could be inside of them, "Yes! **WHOOHOO**! Alright, _score_! Korean barbeque! Thanks Chris!"

After that, Ginga was the first to move, but once he got up everyone convened to the table in the back of the room and began setting up the food so everyone could get what they wanted.

As Aguma and Argo were setting up the large aluminum pans and unpacking the many bags brought in, the delivery guy moved to my seat and sat a large brown paper bag on the table in front of me before going back to help set up.

The bag was stapled closed, and there was a folded piece of paper stapled to the bag with my name in all caps on the front.

 _I'd recognize that handwriting anywhere_.

 _I wasn't going to cry over lunch_.

I _wasn't_.

 **I couldn't**.

But my eyes watered anyways and I quickly slipped out of the room, but not before snatching the note off the front of my bag.

Once outside the room in the hallway, I moved a few feet down and leaned back against the wall and let the tears fall.

I'm actually sitting here _crying_ over _lunch_.

 _What has my life boiled down to?_

I took a deep breath to try and pull myself together and then unfolded the note in my hand to read it.

 _SURPRISE! Baby I hope this meal brightens up your day. I got all your favorites in hopes that you'll eat something. I'm worried about you, and I just want to see you smile genuinely again. I know you're going through something right now and even though you won't tell me what it is, just know I'm here to support you through anything and everything. Don't forget to call me when you get the food. I want to see the beautiful smile on my phone screen._ **I love you. -Chris**

The tears weren't just falling now, they were pretty much **_pouring_ ** from my eyes.

 _ **Oh God**_.

 _I love him…with every fiber of my being…_

* * *

 **RYUGAS POV**

No one saw Nile slip out but me.

Everyone was too caught up in getting the food that the man they talk _**so much shit** _ about bought, and stuffing their faces with it.

I mean I have to admit, I understand where they're coming from, and yet I also see Nile's point of view on everything too.

That man put Nile through some **horrible** shit, and its _amazing_ he's here today and able to **defend** that same man that wronged him to the ones who love him the most, like _nothing_ ever happened.

I don't believe they're all living in the past, I believe they're all trying to live cautiously and do what's _right_ for Nile.

But they _all_ have to remember that Nile isn't a child. He hears them, but sometimes your heart is louder than those warning signs, louder than the words and shouts of countless warnings from your closest friends and loved ones.

 _He'll figure it out._

 _ **Hopefully** _ it won't be too late when he does.

Although I think I _really_ got to him the other day. I wasn't just playing matchmaker the other day either, I truly believe Kyoya and him would get along great and would have a solid strong and happy relationship.

Well once they _**both** _ open their _eyes_ , _minds_ and _**hearts**_ to the idea.

I mean I'm not for all this love and gushy bullshit, but I **never** want to see someone as hurt and depressed as both Nile and Kyoya are.

Especially if they're like a brother like Kyoya is.

Call it destiny or _whatever_ , but I think it means something that **both** of their lives are tearing at the seams right now at the _exact same moment_.

 _Speaking of his life falling apart…._

I pull my phone out remembering what Dynamis had read out loud earlier and what I promised to do at lunch time, but before I could unlock my phone to send Kyoya a text Ginga came over with my plate of food.

The plate was fucking filled like he was feeding **_SIX_ ** fucking linebackers!

I looked at him with one eyebrow raised, "Ginga baby, _who's_ supposed to eat all of this food?"

He was currently stuffing his face like the glutton he could be sometimes, " _UHHH_ ….yew r Ry-"

I chuckled cutting him off, "Baby swallow your food first, we don't need you choking on anything _other_ than my-"

He really did start choking then.

I continued to chuckle as I handed him my bottle of water from this morning.

After he washed down everything stuck in his throat, he reached over and smacked me in the back of the head playfully glaring and trying not to laugh, " **Ry**! You cant _say shit_ like that here! What the hell is wrong with you!"

I laughed and pinched his cheek, "I should be asking _you_ the same question. Who the _**HELL** _ is gonna eat all this damn food?"

He smiled sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck, "Well _you_ were originally, but now I know you aren't so I guess either _I can eat it_ or we can take it _home_ for leftovers for dinner… _hehehe_ …"

I smirked, " _Uhuh_ sure baby. This is **me** you're talking to…"

He pouted, "But _Ry_ really-"

I cut him off chuckling again, "Baby there's no need in defending yourself to me. You were being a glutton. You have your moments, but it's all good. Thank you for making me a plate anyways."

He picked his fork back up to return to stuffing his face, and grumbled as he continued to pout, "You're welcome Ry…"

I leaned over and kissed him on his forehead and just as I was pulling away my phone vibrated.

Ginga looked over at me with a raised brow, "Did you text Kyoya yet?"

I shook my head while pulling my phone from my jacket pocket, "No not yet. I was just about to when you came over."

I looked at my home screen and saw it was a text from an unknown number.

 _Which means the number is blocked…_

 **Unknown number** : _Hey Bro it's Kyoya…_

I snorted and swiped the screen to text back.

 _Dude I was just about to text you! Why didn't you tell me you were going to go through with dropping that fucking creep of a motherfucker! Or even that you ACTUALLY did it!_

 **Unknown number** : _Bro don't text that phone. I'm pretty sure it's bugged and he's monitoring that phone._ '

 _What number are you texting from then, and why is it blocked?_

 **Unknown number** : _It's one of those disposable phones I'm trying to lay low. I don't want him dragging my name and rep through the mud. He's already extremely and dangerously pissed off and in denial._

 _Dude_ _you need to get you a real phone. Where are you staying? What are you doing about your brother?_

 **Unknown number** : _Kakeru is good right now. As for money and all my assets…Doji has control over all of that right now. I mean I don't want shit from him…like really. I have an account with some money in it that I put aside just in case it came to this, it should t hold us over for a little while before I have to go back and fight that asshole for my shit. But I honestly don't think he's gonna let me be gone for that long before he sends his goons to come get me._

 _Nah dude. You and Kakeru can come stay with me and Ginga. There's plenty of room and Ginga and Kakeru would get along great, and my little brother can take him out and keep him busy if need be. Come lay low with us man, I got you. We can get you a new phone and anything your brother needs. We'll help you get back up on your feet. You don't need to spend your money on places to lay low at, you have other things you need to take care of. Let us at least take getting a safe roof over your head off your shoulders.."_

 **Unknown number** : _Bro I couldn't ask that of you, that's too much man…_

 _I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll tell my little spitfire f a boyfriend and he'll play hero and come snatch both you and Kakeru in the night and bring you back to the house. LOL You know how Ginga can get…_ '

 **Unknown number** : _LMAO ard man._

 _Get you shit together, make sure Kakeru has everything he needs too and imma text you a place to meet once we finish up here with these auditions…should be another 2 hours, 3 tops.._

 **Unknown number** : _Ard. When you text me the place im destroying and throwing out this phone, so make sure you give me the right address, sir gets lost a lot LOL…oh and how are those auditions going?_

 _Fuck you! LOL and theyre….going…SMH I'll tell you later. I'm pretty sure I'll have much to add to the storyi alreasy have right now by the time I see you in another 3 hours.._

I glance up at Ginga meeting his eyes as soon as I look up. I whispered, "Baby Kyoya and Kakeru are coming to stay with us. I'm going to pick them up after we're done here, okay?"

He furrows his brows and I can tell he wants to ask so many questions, but he knows by the look on my face that now is not the time and that this is to stay between the two of us.

He nods at first, but then perks up and speaks really softly, "Have you seen Ny? He must've slipped out when we were getting food."

I slowly shake my head and sigh loudly, returning my attention back to my phone just as it vibrated, "Baby he's been gone since ya'll started setting up the food. He looked upset. He might need some space…"

Ginga sighed loudly. I can tell by the sound and tone of his sigh that he had that worried look on his face. The one where he's biting his lip and he has that little scrunch between his brows. He usually has that lost look in his eyes too.

 **Unknown number** : _Ard Bro. Thanks….it means a lot..you have no idea. And just know im paying you back for this too, I don't care what you say.._

Ginga speaks quietly, "I _know_ Ry, it's just it's a lot more than you know that's going on. Right about now I'm terrified for his _mental_ wellbeing. I don't know how much more he can take. I can't lose him this time Ry… _I just can't_.."

 _No need to pay me back. You already know that. This is what brothers are for…so im not taking shit you give me asshole XD…_

I send that last message before looking up at Ginga.

He meets my eyes and I can see the tears brimming them.

I pull him to me and he shoves his face into the crook of my neck.

I murmur to him as I hold him tight and run my fingers through his hair, "Baby it's not going to happen. _You_ , _Demure_ , _Hikaru_ , and _Dynamis_ will keep that from happening. And you know you always have my support on _**ANYTHING** _ you do. Don't worry baby, it'll _all_ work itself out in the end. You'll see baby.."

All I get in response is a whimper and a sniffle.

* * *

 **NILE'S POV**

I slipped my headphones in as the Facetime screen rang for the second time.

I'm trying so hard to pull myself together before he picks up, but the tears wont stop.

I'm glad the sobs _finally_ stopped.

It was so bad I had to drag myself to the conference room before someone heard me.

He picks up on the fourth ring with this blinding grin on his face…and all I can give him is a watery smile.

He face instantly drops and I can see horror and guilt on his face, along with panic and sadness in his eyes, " _Aww baby_. I'm _**SO** _ sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. It was supposed to make you smile. _Oh_ _love_..I'm _so_ sorry…"

I smile sadly and shake my head, "It's okay love. I know you meant well. It just caught me off guard. Would you believe me if I said they were _happy_ tears?"

He chuckles and smiles sadly, "Oh sweetheart, you already know I know the difference. _Nice try though_.."

I give him a watery laugh, "I'm sorry. I tried. I hate you feeling and looking so guilty. _Especially_ when I know for sure what your intentions for it all was."

He smirks, " _There's_ a little bit of that beautiful smile. I've _missed_ it so much….Oh and are you saying that some of my _previous intentions_ have be questionable…"

A bark of laughter slips out, "Chris how many _times_ have you done something **_just_ ** so it'd get you in my ass? I mean I remember **_quite clearly_** a few times where you just flat out admitted it to me. Like **straight** to my face..

He full on laughs, "But those times, _if I'm remembering clearly right now_ , also resulted in us fucking like rabbits not even _five minutes_ after that admission."

I smirk and shrug, "Hey I'm _**not** _ denying it. You being honest like that, _sometimes_ it's a **real** turn on."

He smirks, " _There's my love_. That's **_my baby_** right there, that smirk and that smartass mouth. I've missed you baby…"

I give him a tiny smile, " _Yea I know_ …I'm sorry love…"

He shook his head, " ** _Don't_ ** you apologize. I **love** you okay? And _that_ consists of me taking _the good_ with _the bad_. I'm here for you _no matter_ what bae. Remember that _okay_?"

I can feel and see my eyes watering again. I nod and give him a watery smile.

 _I love this man and he just keeps making this harder and harder for me_.

I know he's not doing it on purpose, but still….

"Now before I make you cry _once again_ ….Have you eaten yet?"

I shake my head, "No not yet. Everything was a bit too overwhelming at the moment _and_ its been a rough couple of days as you know. I wanted to read my note and cry _in peace_ before calling you. I _know_ that sounds pathetic-"

He cut me off with this stern look on his face and sadness in his eyes, " _ **DON'T** _ do that. **DON'T**. You're **_far_ ** from pathetic and you _know_ how I feel about you putting yourself down like that. Now….What time is your lunch break over?"

I sniffled and shrugged, "I'm not sure. I left the room before Dy said anything."

He looked up at something and sighed giving me a sad smile when our eyes met again, "Ok. I want you to go eat your lunch. You _need_ to eat something baby. Go eat and _just relax_ for however longer you have left of your break. I'll be there to get you when you're done. How much longer do you have?"

I shrugged once again, "I'm not sure. At least another three hours, but then Dy said he wanted to talk to me after we were done. So I don't know how long that's going to take. But I can _always_ get Kenta to bring me home, it's no worries love."

He shook his head glancing up at something once again, " _No_ baby I _want_ to come get you. I have to go right now love, but text me about an hour before you think you'll be done. Or text me when the auditions are over and cleared out and I'll come hang out until you're done when I get off. Okay?"

I give him a sad smile and nod.

He smiles, "Okay good. I gotta go. Don't forget to take your next dose of anxiety meds and I'll see you later, ok?"

I nod again.

I can see my eyes watering again. Vision blurring quickly

His smile turns sad as he notices it too, " _ **Please** _ don't cry love. **Please**? I gotta go. I don't want to hang up the phone with you like that."

I sniffle and nod quickly, "Sorry. I'll text you when the auditions are done.."

He sighs loudly, "Ok. I really _really really_ have to go. I love you okay?"

I nod and sniffle, "I love you too, and thank you for _everything_. I really did love it all."

He smiles, "You're welcome. Bye bae."

My voice cracks as my finger hoovers over the end call button, "Bye love.."

He ends the call and I break down again.

* * *

 **KYOYA'S POV**

"KAKERU!"

Not even five seconds after I call him I can hear him running down the stairs to come meet me in the kitchen.

When he comes in, I can see he was in the middle of getting dressed. His hair is a mess but he smells like a fresh shower, and he has a fresh pair of jeans on but no shirt.

"Yea big bro?"

I look over at him and make sure our eyes lock, "Go pack _everything_ you **want** or **need** to take with you. **_For good_**. We're leaving in a few hours. **No** electronics from Doji- _ **AT ALL**_. Got it?"

He furrows his brows, "But I need my laptop Kyoya-"

I cut him off quickly, "We **don't** have time to debate this. Either back everything up to a flash drive or send it to yourself via email or whatever, but _get a move on it_. We're leaving in three hours."

He looks like he wants to protest again, but he doesn't and just nods before rushing back upstairs to do as he was told.

I sigh deeply and lean back against the kitchen counter, trying **_so hard_** to pull myself and my thoughts together.

I have _so_ much to pack and such little time.

My " _ **Doji phone**_ " lights up for literally the _fiftieth_ time today, and that motivates me to leave the kitchen and make my way upstairs to start packing myself.

* * *

 **So what'd you think?**

 **I'm going to be real with you guys...Writer's block has been a real bitch since I got the chance to really start writing again. But then I received MY FIRST reviews. I mean it was like a fresh breath of air. I mean it lit a fire under my ass to try and get back into writing, getting my creative juices flowing. I even reached out to one of my favorite writers on here for advice on getting rid of this writers block, and it helped a whole lot and I was good for a little while and then I fell into the block again.**

 **But I kid you not, not even two weeks ago, I got an actual PM asking about the story and if I was going to continue it, AND they commented on the story too. For some reason this exchange and reaching out to me switched the light bulb on nice and bright and I found myself over a period of a few days, brainstorming the rest of this chapter and then one day writing the rest of this chapter and part of chapter four within HOURS. I mean it was incredible. This person reaching out to me made me realize why I used to be so adamant about being an active reader and reviewer on here. Reviewing was my thing on Fanfiction and ALOT of writers in this fandom alone can vouch for that statement.**

 **As a writer a simple comment just to say " _hi I'm here and love your story_ " can be the biggest motivation ever. As a reviewer my goal was always to let the writer know that there was always SOMEONE out there reading and actually reading and enjoying their stories. Me getting those comments and that single PM made me remember why I used to do what I did. that exhilarating feeling that someone actually cares other than yourself and that you actually know you're entertaining someone with your hard work is a feeling like no other. I'm not one to beg for reviews, but I'm also not one to _always_ silent read. Yea the stats say people are there, but actually hearing from them and not just seeing stats are 2 different things.**

 **So as an appreciative writer I always put the shoutout of the chapter. It's small, but as a reviewer its nice to know your time that you took out to comment on a story was noticed and greatly appreciated.**

 **I know this end note is long but it was truly needed.**

 _ **So without further ado..**_

 _ **SHOUTOUT!**_

 ** _SPYWOLF8_ \- Your kindness and interest in my story means more than you know. You reaching out to me shed some light on my story and my constant writers block and helped me remember that there are actual people reading the story, they just might not be commenting. It also made me remember why I would never abandon a story. I know what it's like to read a story that hasn't been updated in forever, reach out to the author and get no response. I'm not one to not respond to my readers. like I said, I know both ends of the spectrum, and if anyone including your self wants to reach out to me, please feel free to do so. I truly appreciate you. _Please know that_. And _THANK YOU_ for caring enough to take the time out to even inquire about this story. I'm sorry I missed my promised deadline by like 2 hours, but I hope you can forgive me and fingers crossed this chapter makes up for it :)**

 **So because I know my anonymous commenters cant exactly PM me, and since I've been gone for _so long_ , I think they too need some acknowledgement :)**

 ** _SIKA _ and _GERMANY: _ Thank you soo much for taking the time out to read and comment, I hope you're still out there reading and come back to read and enjoy this chapter too!**

 **If anyone has made it this far into the end comment, THANK YOU! XD**

 _ **Please feel free to Review, Fave and Follow.**_

 **As mentioned before, next update date will be listed on my profile. I'm shooting for a month update, but who knows you might get an update before then ;)**

 **I Love you all bunches!**

 **-Newbiee**

 _ **Ps: You have no clue how much DRAMA is coming up. Nile and Kyoya actually interact for the first time in the next chapter along with us learning more from Nile's past and Kyoya's too. I can't wait for yo all to read it and let me know what you think. Also let me know what you think of this chapter. Let me know your predictions on what you think will happen next, or what you think went on in Kyoya and Nile's past**_ _ **.**_ **;)**


End file.
